Category: Resilience

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E#243 How to Gain Self-Confidence

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How to Gain Self-Confidence

A lot of people struggle with impostor syndrome – that they don’t know enough, that they aren’t far enough ahead of their niche clients, or that they aren’t a good enough role model – not perfect enough. If you want to be successful in business, impostor syndrome needs to be addressed. In this episode, we cover how to gain self-confidence – in the most effective ways. 

In this episode, we’ll cover 
* Is self-confidence gained through discipline?
* Tackling the impostor with more helpful, compassionate thinking
* Becoming your own friend
* Celebrating your wins
* Skills development
* Support seeking

Background 

Let’s be clear: self-confidence can absolutely be built without any accompanying impostor syndrome. But when learning new things or stepping into bigger roles, impostor syndrome is unfortunately common. 

Working with coaching students and graduates, and even other professionals, I find so many of them have imposter syndrome.  

How do you deal with that? It’s easy to tell yourself that you’ve “just got to stop comparing yourself to others” or that you “need to do another training course” or something like that.  

Have you tried that? How did that go for you? 

I’ve been on that merry-go-round myself, many years ago, and I can say for certain that it doesn’t work. I think it’s because those sorts of thoughts sound more like a punishment than something that’s helpful. 

That’s why I wanted to talk about the self-confidence mindset and tips for becoming self-confident – so that you can become more self-confident at work, at play and in relationships.  

We Think Self-Confidence is Gained Through Discipline – But Is It? 

It’s tempting to think that we can simply just use discipline to make ourselves do things that are hard or that are necessary, even if we don’t feel capable in that moment.  

But how do you speak to yourself in that moment when you feel like an impostor?  

Do you put on a stern voice, and tell yourself to “put the big girl pants on and just get on with it?” Or to “stop playing small and just put yourself out there?” 

These might look like motivational statements or affirmations on the outside, but there’s also judgement in them. And the more you say them, the more you entrench yourself in what I call a ‘judgement loop’.  

In my experience, these statements are rarely said with a tone of compassion or empathy. 

Think about a friend who felt like an impostor. Would you use that same voice and say the same things to them? 

Probably not. 

And even if you manage to put the impostor aside and take action, chances are that you’re still speaking judgementally to yourself.  

You might think things like: “Well that didn’t work”, or “Everyone there was better than me”, or “I’ll never do that again.” You might even feel like such a fraud that you’re feeling guilty about lying to the audience or letting people down. 

And there are other contexts that we speak to ourselves in these ways too, like when you started your business, or your skills at marketing, or that you might fail.  

What does that tell you? Well, it says that your thoughts are the problem, and therefore that it’s a systemic issue that needs to be resolved. 

My opinion is that discipline can be helpful if it’s used wisely, but it is not necessarily helpful in beating impostor syndrome and building self-confidence. 

Tackling the Impostor with More Helpful, Compassionate Thinking 

The interesting thing is that even if some of those statements are true, it’s not helpful for you to think that way, and, you have a choice as to whether you think that way about yourself or not.  

This talks about how to gain self-confidence, and the answer starts with how you talk to yourself. 

I want to help you to see that you have a choice in the way you speak to yourself and that this could have a huge impact on how confident you feel and therefore whether you can take action or not, and therefore how successful you are. 

Imagine what would happen if you swapped your “I’m no good, I can’t do this” thoughts for something more compassionate and supportive, like “Come on give it your best shot”, or “Come on take action keep going!”  

Firstly, how would you feel if you spoke to yourself that way instead?  

How would that feeling affect your motivation to take action?  

How would that affect your sense of self-worth? 

How would that affect your determination and persistence? 

Turning this into a habit is the work you’re looking at. Thought watching, catching the beat myself up language and replacing it with more helpful, compassionate thoughts. 

Journalling can be an immensely supportive part of this process because it gives you a tangible way to document, see and alter the thoughts you have each day. 

Gain Self-confidence by Becoming Your Own Friend 

Going back to the earlier concept I mentioned, considering how you might speak to a friend who felt like this is another way to think about beating impostor syndrome and gaining confidence. 

Imagine if you were your own best friend, and you admired yourself unreservedly and had your back at every opportunity? 

Your ability to build confidence might become way easier and faster. 

I was listening to a Dan Sullivan podcast recently and he described this experience he had years ago. He was asked how he managed to put the impostor syndrome aside and build a thriving coaching business 30 years ago. 

His answer was that he started treating himself like a friend and developed that relationship with himself and everything changed. 

Now 30 years on, he is one of the most successful, richest and best-known men in the business world. 

What if you were more compassionate, gave yourself permission, supported yourself when you failed and encouraged yourself when you tried? 

Give it a go.  

And then – follow up with my next tip. 

Gain Self Confidence through Celebrating Wins 

Most of the people I know who lack self-confidence do exactly ZERO celebrating their own wins. 

This is the simplest and most painless way I know to build self-confidence. 

Celebrate 2-3 wins you’ve had, every day. 

In coaching sessions with my clients, if they are hard on themselves or beating themselves up for lack of progress, I reflect on how far they have come in the past 3, 6 months etc. Even though they are aware of what they’ve done, celebrating the win provides an eye-opening response and they become more self-accepting, aware of their progress and validated. 

Gain Self-confidence with Skills-Development 

If you try and fail at something, there are lessons to be learned.  

Although it feels ‘hard’ and uncomfortable to fail, instead of beating yourself up or crawling back under your rock – you can identify which skills you need to learn, then make a plan to learn! 

I’m not talking about hiding behind 100 courses instead of actually doing what you want to do. I’m talking about getting help to learn how to do things or do a short course for a specific skill. 

For example, let’s say you are great at attracting leads to your business, but people drop off at the sales call. A few things could be going wrong here.  

Maybe it’s the way the conversation goes. Maybe the value proposition isn’t clear enough. Maybe your leads aren’t ready to change or buy. Maybe the options sound too hard or overwhelming. 

Finding out why they’ve said no, and getting some help to have better conversations, are two skills you can develop to help you nail it in future. 

What do you need help with right now? 

Gain Self Confidence through Support Seeking 

Finally, most people don’t talk to themselves nicely, celebrate wins, or work on developing skills. They sit back and judge themselves instead because it is a comfortable and familiar pattern. 

Seeking support to uncover what you’re doing and why, and then to develop these habits I’ve mentioned, is a key element to your success. 

That’s what coaching is all about! So the short of it is – working with your own coach can help you become better at self-confidence much faster and outgrow the unhelpful patterns you’ve had before.  How important is it for you to invest in yourself right now? 

Summary 

Today we talked about how to gain self-confidence. And while you can build confidence without feeling a sense of impostor syndrome, it’s rare that it happens that way. 

We talked about why forcing yourself to do something (discipline) can lead to unhelpful, judgemental thoughts that keep you in a judgement loop. 

I offered four ways for you to build confidence without feeling like an impostor: 

  1. Develop the habit of more compassionate thinking  
  2. Become your own friend and develop the habit of treating yourself like one 
  3. Develop the habit of celebrating wins 
  4. Develop the habit of analysing performance and doing targeted skills development 
  5. Develop the habit of seeking support with points 1 – 4, until they become habits. 

If you would like to work with a coach around your self-confidence, get in touch via my contact page and I can support you or refer you to someone who works in this space. 

E73 – three best ways to build self-confidence 

E74 – confidence in your coaching skills 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#216 Why and How to do a Coffee Detox

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Why and How to do a Coffee Detox

Are you struggling with energy rollercoasters, anxiety or poor sleep? A coffee detox might be part of the solution. It may be a helpful way to give your nervous system a break and feel calmer. Going cold turkey on caffeine can be hard, so this episode outlines how to do a coffee detox so that you can go through the process with ease.

In my investigation of nervous system health and calming down, I’ve decided to do a coffee detox.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Recommended caffeine intakes
* How do you respond to caffeine
* Do you need a coffee break?
* My Coffee Detox Plan

This isn’t one of those fad things – I’ve had a few important realisations and am doing as an experiment to see if it can help me to unwind anxiety, feel calmer, and improve my sleep quality.

Part of this is working out whether I’m consuming too much caffeine for my body weight, and whether removing coffee altogether has a bigger impact on my symptoms.

So today let’s look at recommended caffeine intakes, who may be susceptible to the negative impacts of caffeine, and then, how I’m doing a coffee detox.

Recommended Caffeine Intakes Food Standards ANZ states there is no acceptable daily intake of caffeine but mentions evidence of increased anxiety levels with caffeine consumption at about 3 mg/kg body weight per day.

This equates to:

  • About 120 mg per day in children (about 2 cans of cola)
  • About 240 mg per day in adults (about 3 cups of instant coffee).

These are based on standard body weights, so you’d need to work out your recommended intake based on your own body weight.

For example, I weigh 52kg, so, at 3 mg/kg, I can have 52 x 3 = 156 mg caffeine per day.

The challenge is partly that caffeine can come from different sources and in different amounts, so it may be hard to keep track of what you’ve consumed.

To make it a bit easier for consumers, Food Standards Code restricts caffeine in soft drinks and energy drinks and requires labelling of all sources of caffeine, including guarana, tea, coffee etc.

Soft drinks must not exceed 145 mg/kg of caffeine in the drink, whereas energy drinks must not contain more than 320 mg/L of caffeine. This is the amount in the volume of drink – you then must

convert that to what’s reasonable for your body weight. The label should state the amount of caffeine per serve.

Foods that contain caffeine include chocolate, cola drinks, sports supplements, energy drinks, kola nuts, cocoa beans, coffee beans, tea leaves (and all kinds of tea including green tea), and many weight loss supplements.

Typical amounts of caffeine in different foods are:

  • 145mg caffeine in a 50mL cup of espresso
  • 80mg caffeine in an energy drink or caffeinated beverage
  • 80mg in a cup of instant coffee
  • 58mg in a long black (100mL cup)
  • 50mg in a cup of black tea
  • 36.4mg in a can of caffeinated cola drink
  • 13mg in a cup of green tea
  • 12mg in 20g of dark chocolate with high cocoa solids
  • 10mg in a 50g bar of milk chocolate
  • 6mg in a 200mL cup of hot chocolate

So if my caffeine intake is recommended to be 156 mg per day, I can get that amount from either:

  • One espresso and 20g of dark chocolate
  • Three cups of black tea
  • A cup of instant coffee, a cup of black tea and a chocolate bar

You get the idea – it’s about quantity.

How do you respond to caffeine?

Everyone response differently to caffeine.

Some people get the jitters after one weak coffee, and some can drink 8 coffees a day and still have a solid night’s sleep. Why is that?

Well, your weight sets the scene for your recommended intake as I’ve just described.

On top of that, you might either process and get rid of caffeine quickly or more slowly than other people. On average, it takes between 3 – 12 hours to metabolise and excrete caffeine.

What you eat can affect caffeine metabolism and clearance. For example, large quantities of vitamin C and eating brassica vegetables can speed up your caffeine clearance, whereas alcohol or grapefruit consumption can decrease caffeine clearance.

Depending on your genes, you may be a fast clearer or a slow clearer, and some genotypes are less sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

I had a genetic test years ago that indicated I was a fast metaboliser, but I know that I am sensitive to caffeine because it gives me a noticeable lift and I start talking, thinking and doing fast – sometimes too fast.

More recently, my HealthType test shows I am a Sensor type, and coffee is generally recommended to be avoided, or consumed about once per month.

Do you need a coffee break?

Coffee or caffeine can certainly help you feel pepped up, but caffeine is addictive and withdrawal can have side effects including depression, low energy, shakiness, anxiety, headache, irritability, fatigue, trouble concentrating and/or constipation.

I recently discovered that going from one espresso to none triggered a terrible headache, brain fog, trouble concentrating and irritability

And having gone through burnout, having been regularly experiencing anxiety and insomnia, and more recently going into menopause, I suspect my adrenal glands have been working overtime and my nervous system has been heavily taxed.

This probably explains my night sweats and some of the other symptoms I’ve mentioned.

I decided I didn’t want coffee controlling me, and it might be worth experimenting with detox to see how I feel when I don’t regularly drink coffee or consume caffeine, especially during menopause.

Here’s my protocol for giving up coffee temporarily to see how it affects me. I will update you once I’ve done a few weeks without coffee on what has changed!

My Coffee Detox Plan

There are lots of ways to do this, but I will be starting slowly and tapering gradually down to zero so I minimise any withdrawal symptoms mentioned above.

Also, I will be making sure I reduce caffeine from other food sources at the same time. When I tried quitting coffee last time, I found myself wanting more chocolate – obviously, my body was looking for sugar and caffeine as a source of energy.

Step 1

Taper from 2 – 3 coffees per day down to one espresso daily for at least one week.

At the same time, I’m making sure I’m getting 2L of water into my diet to ensure good that my digestion and elimination is not affected.

I’ve done this step already at the time of writing.

Step 2

I have previously started mixing regular coffee with decaf in my espresso and that has worked, but this time I will swap to black and green tea and taper that way.

So my step 2 will be to have two black teas per day, and I’ll do that for up to a week depending on my symptoms (or maybe longer). I’ll start this tomorrow.

Step 3

Next, I’ll reduce to one black tea per day.

Step 4

Finally, I’ll go down to rooibos tea only.

I will stay caffeine free for 3 or 4 weeks to see what changes for me, knowing that after my body has adapted, it will take up to 3 months to be caffeine free before I see the full physiological effects of reducing caffeine.

Summary

Today we talked about the recommended caffeine intake and how caffeine may affect different people differently, especially in terms of anxiety, insomnia and other symptoms.

We covered why some people might want to reduce caffeine, and how to taper gradually and take time away from coffee and caffeine.

You can develop your own protocol for this, I’ve given mine as an example, and hopefully, this helps you to experiment and discover how coffee and caffeine affect you, and whether it’s something you want to continue using.

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#215 Reducing Anxiety with Vagus Nerve Stimulation

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Reducing Anxiety with Vagus Nerve Stimulation

If you’ve struggled with anxiety or other mental health concerns, you know how debilitating it can be. Today we’ll discuss how vagus nerve stimulation can help you to improve these conditions, and 6 ways you can do this simply and effectively at home.

If you’ve been following me, you know that I talk about anxiety and sleep from time to time as I am dealing with those things myself.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Presence and resonance
* The inspiration for the book: The Connoisseur of Time
* How changing your relationship with time supports better coaching and business growth
* How being present creates more satisfying relationships

One thing I’ve realised lately is that I regularly have a racing heart, racing thoughts, body tension and/or gut issues. A common thread for all these things is the vagus nerve.

As I explore vagus nerve stimulation as a treatment for myself, I wanted to share the idea with you and explain what it is, how it works, and how you can try it for yourself to gain a sense of physical and mental calmness.

What is the Vagus Nerve and How Does it Work?

The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body and is one of the main components of your parasympathetic nervous system (the ‘rest and digest’ system).

The word vagus means ‘wandering’. It ‘wanders’ from your brain stem through your throat, heart, lungs and digestive tract before descending to your abdomen.

It plays a role in regulating your metabolism and neuroendocrine-immune function, and it does this by monitoring and receiving information from your major internal organs.

The vagus nerve maintains homeostasis (maintaining a stable environment) – it does this by sending and receiving information to and from the brain and vital organs.

If there’s danger, your vagus nerve will respond with a racing heart, but if you are relaxing with some good music, the vagus nerve will regulate your breathing and slow things down.

This nerve contains both sensory and motor fibres, so it deals with both sensation and movement.

It’s also a key connection in the gut-brain superhighway, explaining why diet plays an important role in mental health and immune response. It is influential in inflammation through activation of the immune system in response to stress.

In fact, 20% of the vagus nerve fibres are efferent which means sending information from the brain to the body, whereas 80% of the vagus nerve fibres are afferent, meaning that they send information from the body to the brain.

By now, you can see that the vagus nerve is a big part of our mind-body connection. It can drive calmness and balance from the brain down to cause bodily relaxation, or from the body up to create psychological ease.

The vagus nerve’s sensory and motor functions, afferent and efferent actions and mind-body links are precisely why vagus nerve stimulation can be a powerful tool in reducing anxiety.

Neuroscientist Stephen Porges developed a theory called the polyvagal theory, which argues that the stress response can be managed through the sensory, emotional and motor pathways that are controlled by the vagus nerve.

That’s where vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) comes in.

Applications of Vagus Nerve Stimulation (VNS)

Studies into VNS state that VNS is an approved therapy for epilepsy (with 40% of patients showing up to 50% reduction in seizures). It has also shown promising results for chronic inflammatory disorders including sepsis, lung injury, rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes, to control pain in fibromyalgia and migraines.

VNS has great potential for a wider range of applications including inflammatory bowel disorders including Crohn’s disease, as well as Alzheimer’s disease and cardiovascular disease.

VNS has shown effective as a supplemental treatment for some people with treatment-resistant depression. There is evidence of its’ efficacy for treating obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), PTSD, and panic disorder, and promise as a treatment for anxiety disorders.

Further study is required to overcome research challenges like small sample sizes, variability in study participants, test invasiveness, and the interaction of other factors.

But based on what I’ve just described, it’s clear that VNS can be a powerful tool for a wide variety of health concerns related to the nervous system, major organs, or both.

6 Ways to Use Vagus Nerve Stimulation at Home

Having explored the application and potential power of VNS, let’s just say it won’t work for everyone, but it may help you to feel calmer, more peaceful, and lower inflammation.

The 6 ways to use VNS at home include methods that stimulate organs and muscles which are innervated by the vagus nerve – lungs, heart, vocal cords, gut and so on – so that those signals can be sent back to the brain to let it know that all is ok, you can calm down.

1. Take long, deep breaths

The 4-7-8 breathing pattern is a good example, where exhalations (8-count) are twice as long as inhalations (4-count) (the 7 is a pause in the middle).

This breathing pattern, through the nose 5 – 10 times, can slow your heart rate and send messages back to the brain to calm down.

2. Cold water on your face

Cold water on the face stimulates the vagus nerve and this may be useful for slowing or regulating a racing heart and reducing pain receptor sensitivity.

3. Singing loudly, humming, or laughing

Stimulating the vocal cords can stimulate the vagus nerve to create calmness and well-being.

4. Coughing or gargling

Coughing or gargling can stimulate the vocal cords much like singing, humming or laughing.

5. Dancing

Dancing affects the neural pathways linked to posture and balance and can communicate a sense of calmness and well-being back to the brain.

6. Yoga and/or meditation

Yoga and/or meditation involve breathwork and physical positioning that can create calmness partly due to VNS.

It would also be reasonable to suggest that exercise and healthy food stimulate the VNS through both motor and sensory pathways.

There are a couple of ways to use these techniques to help you calm your nervous system and potentially reduce anxiety.

Firstly, develop a regular practice of one or two of these activities, so that you are doing them a few times per week and habituating the calming response in your body.

Secondly, learn to recognise stress in your body and then respond by using one of these activities in the moment (rather than what you are currently doing).

For example, if I check in with myself and notice my heart is racing, I might use deep breathing for a minute to calm it down.

Or, if I feel anxious about something, I might start humming to myself instead of reaching for a square of chocolate.

To help you experiment with what works and habituate those techniques, you might like to work with a coach, or at least start writing down your plans and intentions so that you remember to take these actions regularly and stay accountable to yourself.

Summary

Today we discussed some of the research into vagus nerve stimulation (VNS), a key part of your nervous system that promotes homeostasis of metabolism, neuroendocrine function and immune function.

VNS shows promise for the treatment of various neurological and mental health concerns. There are six ways you can practice VNS in the privacy of your own home to help you calm down the nervous system and reduce the uncomfortable symptoms of anxiety, panic or stress.

These include long deep breaths (with longer exhales), splashing your face with cold water, singing or humming or laughing, coughing or gargling, dancing, or meditating.

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#211 How to Succeed by Showing Up

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How to Succeed by Showing Up

Are you struggling to find enough clients, do a good enough job, or achieve your goals, and wondering how to make it happen? Let’s look at why showing up is the key to your success.

What is showing up?

Showing up refers to your ability to do things consistently and to be accountable to yourself for that. It’s a simple as that, but it’s also essential for achieving any outcome goals you have

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* What is showing up?
* What does showing up create?
* How do you commit to showing up?

Losing weight.

Launching a successful business.

Attracting clients.

Completing a qualification.

It doesn’t matter what you are trying to achieve – it’s the same principle. Showing up is required for success, and it means that you are committed, disciplined, and consistent with your efforts no matter what, which makes the results possible.

A lot of people I meet come to me for coaching because they are getting half-baked results or no results. A lot of the time it’s about not showing up for yourself consistently.

A lot of things happen if you don’t show up.

For example, in marketing one of the keys to becoming visible and known is that you show up regularly and keep your promises to yourself and your audience. It might take 6 to 12 months before somebody even knows that you exist, so you need to be putting yourself out there consistently and regularly in the same places over a long enough period of time that people can start to see you and get to know you, let alone want to buy something from you.

A lot of coaches I meet try something here and there for a month and then give up saying that nobody is interested. Not long enough! And likely, not consistent enough.

The same goes for eating and exercise for example. If you want to be athletic, lose 5 kg of body fat, gain 3 kg of muscle, run a marathon or consistently follow a Mediterranean diet, then you need to show up for yourself and exercise, eat well or train several times per week and every week consistently for a period of time – usually at least 3 months.

It’s great to start with planning to do something, but that is the easy bit. You feel excited at the prospect of achieving the result. You feel satisfied that you’ve mapped out all of the steps appropriately. You feel like you are ready to go.

But the reality is, as you start to implement your plan life is going to throw you curveballs. That’s a definite – and showing up requires you to figure out how to keep showing up for yourself, for others, or both.

I know for myself, for example, at least two or three nights a week I sleep poorly at the moment. And while it might be tempting for me to take a day off the next day, I have responsibilities and things that are important for me to do so I dig deep, and I show up. I make myself get up on time, shower, get dressed in colourful clothing, eat something nutritious, and prepare myself mentally for the meetings and tasks ahead. Obviously, there are exceptions, like if I am really sick, but otherwise, I just get over the mind games and move forward.

ALL of us have obstacles in life that prevent us from showing up and that is why working with a coach to be so helpful because it’s about learning how to navigate, troubleshoot, and problem-solve those obstacles so that you can be consistent and get the results you want.

Why is it sometimes hard to show up? Simply, because our brains work against us. Our brains are wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain and expend as little effort as possible. This is why we tell ourselves all the lies and excuses that stop us from taking action!

But if we work with our brains, we develop better habits that help us to show up and create results.

What does showing up create?

So, what happens if you do manage your brain better and show up consistently?

Well, let’s look at some real-life examples.

I have been running this podcast every week for over two years. I have committed to consistently publishing episodes every week no matter what. For example, my father just passed away a couple of weeks ago, and knowing that he was unwell I recorded a couple of episodes in advance so that I could keep showing up.

Some days I don’t feel like recording a podcast but I do it anyway because I am committed to this activity.

People ask, where do I get the motivation? Well, I have learned to embrace this process because it builds my audience over time with more and more people listening to this podcast. I don’t want to let them down by not showing up. If I don’t do an episode or two, or if I’m late, people will get the impression that I’m unreliable and untrustworthy – definitely not helpful! Therefore, I have strategies in place to make sure that I show up every week no matter what.

Actually, weight loss is a really good example of what’s required for showing up. In my experience of coaching people around weight loss, it often takes several weeks before they start to see the impact of the habit they have changed. In the meantime, they may get sick, lose motivation, feel overwhelmed with stressors or feel tired as their body changes. But by committing to themselves they can overcome those challenges and still show up for themselves in order to achieve the result that they want.

The interesting thing is that it’s actually not so much about the result because that is a one-off thing. Showing up is actually about embracing the process and developing the habits that will make you a success.

Those habits become who you are, your new identity, and a new way of living.

In the weight loss example, people talk about losing weight and then gaining it again. It just means that they stop showing up for themselves and go back into their old habits which no longer serve them.

In another example, I think about myself as a business owner running my signature weight loss program in my local area for 3 1/2 years.

It didn’t matter how tired I was, or down, or what the weather was like, I showed up consistently for those groups of clients and got myself into a positive mindset to foster an exceptional experience for those clients and hold the space for them so that they could achieve their goals.

Sometimes I definitely didn’t feel like running those group sessions, but I had strategies in place to make sure that my clients got incredible value from those sessions and from working with me. After all, it was the results they got and the way they felt in those sessions that created multiple referrals and sold-out programs every time.

What do you think would’ve happened if I cancelled sessions because I didn’t feel like going, or if I showed up half-hearted and listless?

Showing up – or not – creates your results.

How do you commit to showing up?

So how do you commit to showing up for yourself and for other people?

It’s really all about managing your mindset, your energy, your motivation, and maintaining your level of commitment to yourself and or other people.

If you want to show up for yourself or others consistently, the first thing you must do is to define a really good reason why you want to do a particular thing. In my example of podcasting, this is tied in with my ability to have an impact on the lives of other people and to help people to bring their greatness to the world. This is a huge part of my purpose, so if I don’t do this podcast consistently, I might lose my audience, and that might mean that I don’t get to fulfil my purpose.

The nutshell is that having a big why or lots of whys is really important for committing to something.

The second thing is that you have to be doing something that is truly meaningful and important to you. If you are trying to do something that you think you should be doing but don’t really want to do and then it’s going to be hard to stick to. This ties into your why, but is slightly different.

For example, reaching my audience is important to me, but my actions for getting there must be meaningful and aligned. When I tried to run a Facebook group over about a 14-month period, I struggled because I absolutely hated being on Facebook and so I wasn’t able to make myself be consistent and show up for that and I learnt a really important lesson by failing at that. I realise that I was doing something that I thought I should be doing but didn’t really suit me or feel right and it didn’t suit my audience either.

So, choosing activities and goals with importance and meaning is an essential part of showing up.

The third thing is that if you want to be able to show up for yourself or others consistently, choose habits or activities that play to your strengths, or find ways to use your strengths to complete those activities. It’s much easier to be consistent when you are doing something that you are good at or have the potential to develop skills in.

The fourth thing and this is probably a really important one, is that you just have to stop overthinking things. It’s really easy if you’re tired or stressed to want to give up on yourself and to tell yourself stories about why you can’t do something. That’s just your brain trying not to make the effort.

If you think about it, it’s actually the discomfort of doing something under adversity that helps you to come out stronger and with a greater sense of self-belief. If you give in every time and don’t be consistent, then you are just proving to yourself that you can’t. If you grit your teeth and get

through something challenging, you gain a sense of pride, efficacy and a glimmer of hope that you can do it again. This gives your untrusting brain the proof it needs to believe you can succeed.

It’s way better to find some strategies and cues and just make yourself do something and get across the line to prove to yourself that you can because that will create momentum and an upward spiral.

My best strategy to overcome mental hurdles is talking myself into doing the activity and outlining all the reasons it’s important.

The fifth thing is that planning is really important in terms of being able to show up for yourself. Imagine if I was trying to record a podcast every week but didn’t have any sort of activity put into my calendar. I’d probably forget will be trying to squeeze it in around other appointments or double-booking myself and then it wouldn’t get done. Planning means you are intentionally making space – a dedicated time slot every week – to record an episode, doing the gym workout, or posting on LinkedIn – whatever it is you want to commit to.

Planning offers you more than just the ability to complete the task. By making space for what matters to you, it prompts you to clear out the low return tasks so that you don’t waste time and become more efficient and productive. When your schedule is based around important but not urgent tasks and not too many of them, then it’s much easier to show up for yourself.

The sixth thing I want to talk about today in terms of showing up is that sometimes you’re going to need support from another person or some sort of system to help you show up. It could be a coach. It could be an alarm. It could be a ritual or process you used to get yourself into the right headspace. But whatever it is, if you find it hard to be self motivated and self disciplined at times, think about the things you can do to help you show up for yourself.

Using this podcast as an example once again, if I’m not in the mood or am lacking inspiration, I have a few uplifting podcasts that I listen to that help me to come up with a more positive mindset and create some of my own ideas for content. I also have content that I’ve created in the past and I can always go back to that and re-purpose it for a podcast episode if I need to. I have a system of dictating into my iPad or phone so if I get an idea while I’m on the run I can capture it in a document using the microphone function and that means I am constantly adding to the content when the ideas strike me. These are three of my personal strategies for making sure I show up and do this podcast every week no matter what.

The seventh and final thing that will help you to show up is the 7-minute rule. In the practice of yoga, there is a saying that if you just do 7 minutes then you will likely keep going. I apply the same principle to anything else that I need to show up for. Just seven minutes writing some notes for a podcast. Or just seven minutes getting my mind in order so I can still see my clients today and not cancel any appointments. You get the idea. Doing a tiny amount of something means that you get over the initial hurdle of starting and that you are more likely to keep going

Summary

Today we talked about what showing up is and why it is important.

I also talked about seven ways to help you show up for yourself:

  1. Define a specific why, or many whys
  2. Focus on activities that are meaningful and important to you (linked to the why)
  3. Choose activities that play to your strengths, or find ways to use strengths to complete them
  4. Stop overthinking things and just do them with the help of strategies and cues.
  5. Planning specific activities for specific time slots
  6. Get the support you need from others, systems or tools
  7. Commit to just 7 minutes so you get over the hurdle of starting.

Showing up for yourself means that you can do meaningful things in your own life and succeed at those things and feel like you are living a purposeful and intentional life.

It is about learning to embrace the process and become good at that, rather than just focussing on the result. This not only helps you achieve the result, it also helps you to become committed to the regular actions that create your results!

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

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E#207 Sleep Hacks for Insomniacs

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Sleep Hacks for Insomniacs

If you’re like me, sleep can be hit and miss at times and getting enough sleep can become a drain that affects your performance and productivity. In this episode, we’ll cover a few sleep hacks recommended by leading neurobiologists that can help you to improve your chance of falling asleep and staying asleep.

In the last episode of this podcast, we discussed sleep chronobiology and its impact on health and wellbeing, along with a few simple tips to identify your chronobiology and how to align your routines to your personal type.

Now let’s get specific with some hacks!

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Evening sleep hacks for winding down at night
* Sleep hacks for falling asleep and staying asleep
* Tips for setting your sleep clock

Many recent (2022) journal articles have revealed how ocular light exposure – that is, light entering the eyes – affects our circadian rhythms and sleep, endocrine function and cognitive function, which in turn influence human health and wellbeing.

This conversation is partly based around “melanopic light”, which describes the way that blue light frequencies restrict melatonin production in your body until after dusk, after which time melatonin washes through the body to help you sleep.

The recent advances in our understanding of the relationship between light exposure and sleep have led to the development of new standards and practices. By understanding how different light sources and timing of exposure work, neurobiologists have been able to develop recommendations for improving sleep quality and quantity.

Let’s take a look at some of the hacks that you can use, for free, to improve your sleep.

Evening sleep hacks for winding down

An interesting hack is the recommendation for morning sun exposure (outdoors) which can mitigate any undesirable effects of indoor light exposure (during the day and at night), so that you can wind down more easily and sleep better.

We also need to dim the lights in our houses. Recent advances in our understanding of circadian rhythms mean that light manufacturers have been able to produce blue light components so that artificial lighting systems in our homes and offices are very similar to actual daylight.

But while this is great for productivity during the day, it is not so good at night when we want to wind down and fall asleep. In that sense, after sunset, the experts recommend dimming the lights in your home, in the evening at least 3 hours before bedtime. This reduces the amount of light entering your eyes and helps allow the melatonin wash to occur.

This also applies to electronic devices. Televisions, computer screens, tablets or mobile phones all emit blue light and are often close to your eyes, so turning them off the around sunset might help you to fall asleep and stay asleep.

While we’re talking about sunset, one interesting study showed that when you couple daytime outdoor light exposure with early evening light exposure (e.g. sunset), it can help to decrease the sleep disruptive effects of night time light exposure.

And if you have bright lights on late at night, you will suppress melatonin, the hormone that helps you relax and feel sleepy, which obviously affects your quality and duration of sleep.

Aside from light, there are other things that can improve your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Food and exercise can affect your ability to fall asleep.

People who are early risers (see episode 206) might do better with an earlier dinner, exercising earlier in the day and minimising socialising at night so as not to disrupt sleep.

In contrast, people who are night owls (see episode 206) could eat later without disrupting sleep but might need a lighter dinner, and to finish exercise before 7pm so as not to disrupt sleep.

Otherwise, and more generally, alcohol intake at night might help you fall asleep but might wake you up between 1 – 3am.

For some people, a high-carb meal (more specifically, higher in simple carbs) might delay sleep onset – in other words, it takes longer to fall asleep – or cause them to wake up hungry.

Similarly, caffeine or other stimulants after 3pm might disrupt sleep in some people, as it takes 3 – 15 hours to metabolise and excrete caffeine.

A heavy meal at night or overeating at night often disrupts sleep. Either can cause indigestion, heartburn or simple discomfort before bed or during sleep. That’s because, during sleep, our digestive processes slow down but can also create competition for resources in the body if you have an undigested meal in your stomach.

Eating a heavy meal or too much food may cause you to wake up the next day without an appetite or even feeling heavy or sluggish because you’re still working through last night’s meal.

The remedy for this is simple – and twofold:

  1. it takes around 4 hours to digest a meal, so finish eating at least 3 hours before you go to bed, and
  2. eat a lighter meal before bed with lots of vegetables, and the right amount of complex carbs, fats and/or proteins for your HealthType.

Sleep hacks for falling asleep, staying asleep and waking up energized

The science shows that inadequate daytime light exposure is as detrimental as too much electric light exposure at night, with both of these having adverse effects on your sleep, circadian rhythms and health outcomes.

So, in order to set yourself up for a good night’s sleep, the experts recommend that you get outdoors and get daytime light exposure within 30 – 60 minutes of waking up, if possible during the day, and also around sunset.

During the day (before sunset), aim for at least 2.5 hours of bright light exposure including your early morning exposure, and another hour in the late afternoon or evening.

In terms of light exposure, while you’re asleep, the experts recommend that your sleep environment is as dark as possible. If you do need to get up for the bathroom during the night, the recommended

maximum exposure to light is 10 lux (which is a unit of measure of light). You can download an app on your phone that measures light as a rough guide to help you determine exposure.

That aside, anxiety and worry can add to sleep issues. I have discussed this extensively in other episodes but it’s worth mentioning here – get some help, keep a worry diary and/or get on top of your task list to help you sleep easy at night.

Having some light, fun activities that aren’t too stimulating in the early evening can help you switch off!

Shift workers – a special case

Light exposure for shift workers is still an area of study and a challenge that neurobiologists haven’t yet been able to solve.

At this time, there is evidence that increasing melanopic light levels at work (e.g. office lighting) can improve alertness, as measured subjectively (e.g. questionnaire) and/or objectively, but this requires further study in the shift work population.

In any case, I speculate that even shift workers can create some improvements in sleep, and we will look at that in another episode in more detail.

For now, let’s assume that eating and exercise can be modified to improve the chance of a good night’s sleep, and further, blocking out curtains and getting the timing of light exposure right might help to create a rhythm that facilitates sleep.

Setting your circadian rhythm

In the previous episode of this podcast, I talked about determining your sleep chronotype – in other words – the time you wake up and the time you go to bed. Whether you’re an early riser, a night owl or an in-betweener, being consistent with wake and sleep times can help you establish a regular daily light-dark cycle which can further benefit sleep, cognition and health.

And as described earlier in this episode, getting outdoor light exposure soon after waking and again late afternoon can help you to sleep more soundly, and wake refreshed.

Summary

And as described earlier in this episode, getting outdoor light exposure soon after waking and again late afternoon can help you to sleep more soundly, and wake refreshed.

If you want to sleep well, also consider the timing, quantity and quality of food and exercise in the context of your chronotype – nothing within 3 hours of sleep, and reducing or avoiding alcohol, caffeine and high glycemic foods or heavy meals.

Think about switching off devices after sunset and dimming your house lights.

There is so much coming out about sleep right now, and today’s summary of research includes a few tips to help you manage your sleep better.

References

Brown TM, Brainard GC, Cajochen C, Czeisler CA, Hanifin JP, et al. (2022) Recommendations for daytime, evening, and nighttime indoor light exposure to best support physiology, sleep, and wakefulness in healthy adults. PLOS Biology 20(3): e3001571. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pbio.3001571

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E#206 Understanding Sleep Chronotypes

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Understanding Sleep Chronotypes

Are you intrigued by the concept of chronotypes and want to know how it can help you (or your clients) to optimise sleep, performance, health and wellbeing?

Your sleep chronotype indicates whether you’re a night owl or an early bird, and helps you optimise your sleep patterns for better focus, performance and productivity.

As someone in menopause, I want to get rid of night sweats, insomnia and brain fog as well as anxiety and low mood. For me, the research indicates that aligning with my sleep and other chronotypes will help me to reduce or eliminate these pesky symptoms.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* What Sleep Chronotypes Are
* Are you a night owl or early bird?
* Benefits of knowing your sleep chronotype
* Aligning to your sleep chronotype

I am trained in assessing and understanding chronotypes, so stick around to the end or check the show notes to find out how about a specific test I can help you with, to determine your chronotypes for sleep but also other areas of life like eating, exercise, focused work and so on.

 

What Are Sleep Chronotypes?

Feeling tired all the time has a massive impact on your mood, work performance, motivation to exercise, and willingness to get out and socialise.

We hear a lot about sleep hygiene and pre-bed routines to work out how to sleep better, but nobody is talking about chronotypes.

Chronotypes are what make us unique. Specifically, your chronotype is the behavioural manifestation of your circadian rhythm (also known as your ‘body clock’), such as when you prefer to sleep and when you are most alert and energetic.

Your natural rhythm also affects the timing of other events in your body like hormone release, meal timing, exercise timing and bowel movements.

In the dawning era of personalised healthcare, we are realising that the old, general rules like “you must get 8 hours of sleep per night” or “we should go to bed by 9pm” are not true.

The truth is – sleep is personal. You are unique in terms of your sleep needs. Emerging evidence suggests that there is a strong genetic component to sleep chronotypes and that variations in chronotypes might have evolved in hunter-gatherers who took turns sleeping so there was always someone to keep watch.

And once you know your needs, certain elements of your lifestyle affect your sleep and should be considered as part of the solution.

Are you a night owl or early bird?

While there are several quizzes available that can indicate your sleep chronotype, your own personal experience is the key.

It can be challenging to identify your chronotype if your body is ‘out of whack’ for example if you are a shift worker, if you are carrying a sleep debt, or if you are going through menopause or acute stress that is affecting your sleep.

A simple way to work it out is to keep a diary over a week or two, perhaps when you’re on holiday, without work stress, deadlines, over-exposure to devices or stressful travel to and from work.

During this holiday time, notice when you naturally feel sleepy and record the time.

Complete your usual pre-bed routine and let yourself fall asleep naturally.

Then in the morning, notice what time you naturally wake up, and record the time.

Over a period of days, without the normal external pressures and influences, you will start to see consistent sleep and wake times, and your natural sleep chronotype will be revealed.

Although we often hear the term night owl or an early bird, there are four recognised chronotypes in a quiz by Dr Michael Breus, which are:

  1. Lion – the early bird who likes to wake up early and be productive in the morning
  2. Bear – accounting for about 55% of the population, their sleep and wake times tend to follow the sun
  3. Wolf – the night owl, thought to make up 15% of the population
  4. Dolphin – tend to be insomniacs

This is just one chronotype classification systems.

Benefits of knowing your sleep chronotype

If you know your sleep chronotype, you’ll be better able to manage your daily schedule and be alert, productive and focused at the right time.

Imagine if you knew how to structure your day so that you could get things done, get enough rest, feel motivated to exercise, and feel energized and at peace – and then have a good night’s sleep? That’s the power of knowing your sleep chronotype.

Sleep has a huge impact on your appetite, exercise and core temperature, so it also affects your ability to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight.

Various studies show that your chronotype is also associated with some of the ‘Big 5’ personality traits. Lions or early birds (‘morningness’) tend to be associated with conscientiousness and agreeableness, while neuroticism and openness, impulsivity, anger, anxiety and using substances tend to be more common in Wolves or night owls (‘eveningness’). The same studies show that morning people tend to do better in school, and evening people might be better at creative thinking and musicality.

Evening people also tend to be less physically active and sleep less during the week, and more on weekends which can lead to a higher stress response, elevated cortisol levels and a higher resting HR which are risk factors for a variety of sleep, metabolic and mental health concerns.

These are trends, not set in stone, because each person is subject to various external influences that might affect their sleep patterns and overall well-being.

Having said that, by aligning your schedule with your chronotype, you will more easily reduce adverse outcomes and be more productive, energized and calm.

Aligning your schedule to your sleep chronotype

Once you know your sleep chronotype, how do you align your schedule so that you can optimise focus, sleep, performance, productivity and recuperation?

While I’ll cover some specific hacks and tips in the next episode, these are some general guidelines to start implementing.

A good starting point is to experiment with going to bed at the time that suits you best, for example, 10pm every night.

Once you establish this time, work backwards and start experimenting with pre-bed routines that will help you have a good night’s sleep and allow you to actually get into bed by this time.

When you have a handle on those two things, your wake-up time should naturally set itself, and you’ll start waking up at a set time every day.

From there, you can work with your energy during the day to adjust your schedule if you can.

For example, early risers might have more energy first thing in the morning and so might do better with exercise, detailed thinking work and any sort of focused action-taking early in the day and could try scheduling those things in the morning if possible. You might also find it better to socialise in the daytime or late afternoon rather than at night as you’ll be winding down.

In contrast, night owls who go to bed later e.g. 11pm might have more energy late in the day, and so could need a more relaxed morning, where you ease into the day slowly, leaving exercise, socialising and intense work for the afternoon and early evening.

If you’re an in-betweener, you may find your energy peak is closer to the middle of the day and could prioritise focused work and exercise from late morning to mid-to-late afternoon.

It may be possible to rearrange your work duties to fit with these frameworks.

A key takeaway is that we are all unique, so experimenting is key as is a need to remove the overlay of stressors, overwork and responsibility that often get in the way of us living our best lives.

Summary

Sleep chronotypes are about more than just optimal bedtime, sleep quality and quantity. By understanding and aligning with your sleep chronotype, you can unlock your full potential in terms of productivity, focus, mental health, motivation to exercise, getting your eating right, and maintaining a healthy weight.

Contact me for support with determining your personal chronotype.

References

David A. Kalmbach, PhD, Logan D. Schneider, MD, Joseph Cheung, MD MS, Sarah J. Bertrand, PhD, Thiruchelvam Kariharan, PhD, Allan I. Pack, MBChB PhD, Philip R. Gehrman, PhD, Genetic Basis of Chronotype in Humans: Insights From Three Landmark GWAS, Sleep, Volume 40, Issue 2, 1 February 2017, zsw048, https://doi.org/10.1093/sleep/zsw048

Gjermunds, N., Brechan, I., Johnsen, S.Å.K. and Watten, R.G., 2019. Musicians: Larks, Owls or Hummingbirds?. Journal of Circadian Rhythms, 17(1), p.4. DOI: http://doi.org/10.5334/jcr.173

Tristan Enright & Roberto Refinetti (2017) Chronotype, class times, and academic achievement of university students, Chronobiology International, 34:4, 445-450, DOI: 10.1080/07420528.2017.1281287

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

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E#201 Alcohol and Mental Health

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Alcohol and Mental Health

Let’s face it – Australia has a drinking culture, which started in colonial times when convicts were partially paid with rum. (1, 2) 

Most of us associate drinking alcohol with relaxing, celebrating, sports and ‘fitting in’ with social norms. We might feel that alcohol helps us cope better with stress and anxiety, but is alcohol good for mental health? 

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* How We Think Alcohol Helps
* The Physical and Mental Effects of Alcohol
* Longer-Term Impacts of Alcohol Use and Misuse
* Who is Most at Risk of Alcohol-Related Health Issues?
* What We Can Do

How We Think Alcohol Helps 

Alcohol is a depressant, which means that drinking alcohol can make you feel calmer and more relaxed. Some people say it helps them manage anxiety in social situations. Others use alcohol to ‘blunt’ their heightened emotions at the end of a stressful day, or to fall asleep easier. 

It’s tempting to think that alcohol is helpful, but is it really? 

The Physical and Mental Effects of Alcohol 

While you might feel that alcohol is relaxing you, it’s doing the opposite. There is overwhelming research on the effects of alcohol on mental health and physical health – and the news isn’t good.  

A 2021 study shows that binge drinking increases muscle sympathetic nerve activity (fight or flight response), reduces rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, reduces sleep quality overall and increases morning-after blood pressure and heart rate. (3)  

In other words, alcohol intake in the evening causes ‘stress’ while you’re sleeping. For example, you might think you fall asleep easily after a few drinks, but then you wake up between 1am and 3am and can’t get back to sleep, or you have ‘night sweats.’ 

As Head of Growth at Philia Labs,’ I’ve certainly seen these sorts of results in our 2022 data collection studies, in participants who consumed alcohol. Even though they felt more relaxed after drinking, their heart rates were higher and they had a lower amount of deep sleep on the nights they consumed alcohol. 

Adding insult to injury, this overnight stress disrupts your body’s natural rest and recovery process that occurs during sleep. These processes include physical recovery, blood sugar regulation, brain detoxification, immune system regulation, learning and emotional processing, and memory consolidation. 

And depending on your intake, you might wake up to the symptoms of drinking too much alcohol. 

These include elevated heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, irritability, mood swings, lower energy levels, reduced memory, poor focus and impaired work performance.  

In other words, you’re starting the next day ‘behind the 8-ball’ in a ‘fight or flight’ state.  

Longer-Term Impacts of Alcohol Use and Misuse 

Research shows that alcohol use and misuse accounts for 3.3 million deaths each year (6% of deaths worldwide) related to accidents, violence, cardiovascular disease, cancer and other diseases. (4, 5) 

We also know that mental health tends to have a reciprocal relationship with alcohol. That is, people who are dependent on alcohol are more likely to have mental health issues, and people with mental health issues may drink to self-medicate. (4)  

This was reinforced in a cross-sectional study of alcohol intake and mental health during COVID-19 lockdowns. The study found significant links between increased alcohol consumption and poor overall mental health, depressive symptoms and lower mental well-being. (6)  

The long-term mental health impacts can include increases in aggressive and/or risky behaviours, self-harm, anxiety and depression. (6, 7)  

Other risks of alcohol use include the increased chance of having an accident or injuring yourself or others, poorer job performance and negative effects on relationships. 

Who is Most at Risk of Alcohol-Related Health Issues? 

Certain groups of people may be more likely to drink, or drink more, and therefore be at greater risk of (physical and) mental health problems. Research on US populations (4) shows that:  

  • men are more likely to drink heavily or binge drink than women,  
  • Caucasians tend to drink more overall,  
  • people of higher socioeconomic status tend to drink more frequently, and  
  • lower socioeconomic groups tend to drink larger quantities of alcohol.  

Isolation is another risk factor for increased alcohol consumption and related mental health issues, particularly for some age groups.  

In 2021, a study of alcohol consumption during COVID-19 lockdown (self-isolation) in the UK showed that increased alcohol consumption was most prevalent in 18–34-year-old people compared with older age groups, and that poorer mental health was significantly related to increased alcohol intake (versus no increase during the study). (6) 

Certain work sectors are also in the higher risk category, such as remote mine sites. The fly-in, fly-out (FIFO) workforce experiences stressors including isolation, extreme environments and shift work disorder. Levels of psychological distress are significantly higher compared to the general population (8). Drinking is also part of the mining culture. Recent studies in the FIFO workforce in Australia indicate that the odds of risky and harmful alcohol use are much higher in certain groups (8, 9, 10): 

  • males,  
  • younger workers,  
  • smokers,  
  • people working primarily for higher income, 
  • working in underground mining (vs open cut) 
  • those with previous alcohol and other drug problems  
  • those who report psychological distress, and  
  • those with a history of anxiety and/or depression. 

Advertising, marketing and cultural norms (including in the workplace) all play a role in drinking habits, as do lack of support and exposure to stressors. 

What Can We Do? 

Alcohol intake is a cultural norm in many countries, and it is linked with a complex array of individual and societal factors. There are several ways we can reduce the impacts of alcohol on health and mental health.  

Firstly, education on the risks of drinking and binge drinking is important. Knowing the recommended drinking guidelines is a good starting point to work out whether you have risky drinking behaviour. You can use these yourself or share them with others. 

Secondly, being self-aware of your drinking habits and after-effects is important for identifying your own risky behaviours and it might help you feel motivated to change your habits or get some support to do so. 

There are various levels of support available. Alcoholics Anonymous is one association, but also, several health and wellness coaches offer support and behaviour change for grey-area drinkers – those people who aren’t alcoholics but are concerned about their drinking habits. Sarah Rusbatch in WA is a leader in this area and has a free community. You can also ask a trusted friend, family, mentor or colleague for support.  

Workplace culture is another place that can support positive change. A lot of workplaces support, condone or endorse a drinking culture that can be uncomfortable and create pressure on people who don’t want to drink.  

As an individual, you can approach your HR department to discuss initiatives, find ambassadors and request support to change the workplace culture. As a business owner, you can review employee behaviour and social drinking norms to look for opportunities to better support your organisation. 

Whatever you do, by drinking less, you will feel better for it, you will look better, and you will reduce your risks of chronic and acute disease. 

Summary 

The message is clear – drinking alcohol can seem to have benefits in certain situations, but the reality is, it’s putting stress on your body that can impact your physical and mental health.  

There can be flow-on effects to your work performance, career opportunities, relationships, and life satisfaction. 

Self-awareness is always the starting point for change, so by understanding the guidelines and reflecting honestly on your own drinking habits, you are better equipped to know whether you need help, and what sort of help you might need to make some positive and more healthful changes. 

 

  1. VicHealth. Exploring the Role of Alcohol in Victorians’ Lives. Website accessed 16.6.22 
  2. Moodie, Prof. R. 2013. A Brief History of Alcohol Consumption in Australia. The Conversation Website, accessed 16.6.22. 
  3. Greenlund, I.M. et al. 2021. Morning sympathetic activity after evening binge alcohol consumption. Am. J. Phys Heart Circ Phys 310(1), H305-H315. 
  4. Sunhinaraset, M. 2016. Social and Cultural Contexts of Alcohol Use. Alcohol Res 2016; 38(1); 35-40. 
  5. Alcohol and Drug Foundation, 2021. Every alcoholic drink increases your risk of cancer. Website accessed 16.6.22. 
  6. Jacob, Louis, et al. Alcohol Use and Mental Health during Covid-19 Lockdown: A Cross-Sectional Study in a Sample of UK Adults. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, vol. 219, 2021, pp. 108488–108488., doi:10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2020.108488. 
  7. Headspace. How does alcohol affect mental health? Headspace website accessed 16.6.22. 
  8. James, Carole et al. Correlates of psychological distress among workers in the mining industry in remote Australia: Evidence from a multi-site cross-sectional survey. PloS one vol. 13,12 e0209377. 20 Dec. 2018, doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0209377 
  9. James, Carole L., et al. Alcohol Consumption in the Australian Mining Industry: The Role of Workplace, Social, and Individual Factors.  Workplace Health & Safety, vol. 69, no. 9, Sept. 2021, pp. 423–434, doi:10.1177/21650799211005768. 
  10. James, Carole et al. Factors associated with patterns of psychological distress, alcohol use and social network among Australian mineworkers. Australian and New Zealand journal of public health vol. 44,5 (2020): 390-396. doi:10.1111/1753-6405.13037 
  11. Alcohol and Drug Foundation Australia. Australian Alcohol Guidelines. Website accessed 5.7.22. 
  12. Alcoholics Anonymous. Zoom Meeting attendance information. Website accessed 5.7.22. 
  13. Sarah Rusbatch – Grey Area Drinking Coach. Website accessed 5.7.22. 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

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E#200 How to Coach Around Nutrition and Eating Habits

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How to Coach Around Nutrition and Eating Habits

I was recently asked, ‘How do you coach around nutrition and eating habits without being an expert’? Today I’ll illustrate a few ways to do this with some examples. 

When Clients Ask You What They Should Eat 

Let’s say a client comes to you and wants to be told what to eat, and whether she should follow a diet plan. 

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* When Clients Ask You What They Should Eat
* How to Discuss Portion Sizes
* Coaching for Weight Loss

A good starting point is to ask what the client already knows and acknowledge why that matters to them – what is behind this change in eating and how will that impact their life?  Their answers may reveal some important values that will help them to create a compelling vision. 

Next, you would explore what they know already about healthy eating. Most clients have a reasonable amount of knowledge – just not how to fit it into their busy lives. But if your client doesn’t know much, you might point them to relevant guidelines, or refer them to a professional who is qualified to help.  

The most important thing is that you are not here to educate clients or tell them what to do. Instead, your role is to draw out what your client knows and help them make sense of it, identify any knowledge gaps that require a referral, and otherwise help them to create safe and effective goals to achieve their vision. 

How to Discuss Portion Sizes 

Let’s say your client isn’t clear about portion sizes or serving sizes but sees this as an important part of eating well. How do you tackle that? 

Firstly, there are published guidelines on these aspects that you can share with a client. The way to introduce them is to ask permission – would you be interested in looking at the guidelines on portion sizes and serving sizes? 

In sharing the information, you can ask the client questions that will raise their self-awareness. These might include questions like: 

  • How much of this did you already know? 
  • What surprised you? 
  • What have you learned? 
  • How might you use this information? 
  • What would you like to experiment with? 

There is much to be learnt about healthy eating and there is also a lot of misinformation out there.  Your job is to support your clients as they consider changes they may make, provide well-documented information when required and step in if they are planning to set goals that are unsafe in any way. 

Coaching For Weight Loss 

People might want to change their eating habits and diets for many reasons including to reduce arthritis or other inflammatory conditions, to lower blood pressure, or address a chronic illness like type 2 diabetes or an autoimmune condition, or to boost their energy.  

But a lot of clients who want to change their eating habits are concerned about weight loss, either as a stand-alone concern, or coupled with one of the other aspects.  

So how do you have conversations about plateaus, popular diet trends and supplements? 

The starting point is always about finding out what the client knows already, and what their perception is about this area. 

What do they know about this diet trend or supplement, its safety and efficacy?  

Or in the case of a plateau, what do they know about energy balance? 

What is attractive about the solution they’ve found? 

And what’s behind that? 

Often clients are drawn toward things that seem to offer a quick solution to their challenges. Unpacking conversations can reveal underlying fears, concerns or motivators, and awareness of these can lead a client to reasonably assess whether their thought processes are helpful. 

If there are any remaining concerns or desires to try certain approaches, you can easily refer a client to a doctor or dietician for more specific advice. 

But often, you get the chance to turn the conversation back toward the longer-term goals, the sustainable habits they are doing, how they feel about the habits, and also, basic principles about mindful eating and tuning into natural hunger and satiety signals. 

You may invite a client to watch their thoughts and/or track their responses to food, any ‘rules’ they set around eating, how they feel in social eating settings, what thoughts they are having about other people’s results etc. In doing this self-reflection, the client can learn the valuable skill of critical thinking to help them work out for themselves if they have legitimate concerns or not. 

A little information and some self-reflection can be used to help your clients develop the skill of understanding what their bodies are telling them so that they can self-regulate their behaviour more easily. 

Two key drivers of unhealthy eating habits and weight concerns are stress, and faulty thinking patterns that lead to unhelpful feelings and beliefs. In that sense, while the initial work in weight loss coaching is around more superficial topics like what to eat and how to get organised, the deeper work for lasting change is around the individual’s ability to set boundaries, manage their lives and their emotions.  

Summary 

Today I shared three examples of how to coach around nutrition. We covered: 

  1. What to do if a client wants to be told what to eat 
  2. How to coach around portion sizes, and 
  3. Coaching for weight loss including popular diets, supplements and other people’s success. 

We’ve only just skimmed the surface of weight loss coaching, but these are three common questions that I have been asked by coaches who want to coach clients around nutrition and eating habits. 

I hope this episode was useful. Please subscribe to my podcast on iTunes and I’d appreciate your rating and feedback if you are enjoying this! 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#199 How Does Diet Impact Mental Health

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How Does Diet Impact Mental Health

In the 20th Century, we have seen global shifts in dietary intakes, with people eating more sugary, fatty, high-energy food and snack foods, and a decrease in fibre-rich and nutrient-dense foods, especially in younger generations and those who are ‘busy’ and looking for convenience. 

But what impact does diet have on mental health? 

Today I want to explore the latest research that links diet and mental health and discuss some opportunities for health coaching in this space. 

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Global Research from Nutritional Psychiatry
* What the Research Means for Mental Health
* How Employers Can Support Better Nutritional Health

Nutrition and Mental Health – Global Research from Nutritional Psychiatry 

We know that many ‘common’ mental health disorders are associated with chronic health conditions. We also know that lifestyle behaviours including eating habits are intrinsically linked to physical health. Recent research is defining these relationships and revealing opportunities to improve mental health through diet. 

Nutritional psychiatry is an emerging field that recognises the consistent link between better-quality diets and a reduced risk of depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders.  

Most of us are familiar with the longevity and good mental health associations with Blue Zone diets – think the centenarians from Ikaria and Okinawa – and this association is supported by research. Here are some examples. 

A study of Norwegian men and women who followed a traditional Norwegian diet reported more favourable mental health compared to those on a typical Western diet, even after adjustment for variables including age, education, physical activity, smoking and alcohol consumption (1). 

An Australian study of 8,660 healthy men and women showed that a Mediterranean-style diet was associated with lower psychological distress as measured by a K10 score (2). 

A systematic review of both observational and interventional studies of nutrition and bipolar disorder found that the intake of certain nutrients is associated with a reduction of bipolar disorder symptoms. Those nutrients include omega-3 fatty acids, folic acid and zinc. Promising results were also indicated for coenzyme Q10 and probiotics (3). 

Many studies show that lower socioeconomic circumstances partly explain poor eating habits and depressive symptoms, but there is also evidence that depression is directly associated with long-term exposure to an unhealthy diet, independent of socioeconomic status (4).  

What Does This Mean for Mental Health? 

Medication, exercise and psychological intervention are well-known approaches that play an important role in treating and managing mental health disorders. 

The research findings from nutritional psychiatry show that healthy eating is another impactful ingredient in maintaining brain health and mental health. It is important that we recognise these links with the rise in mental health disorders and body weight during the Covid 19 pandemic, and, that we apply these learnings in practice. 

To that end, it is promising to see that the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatry guidelines (2020) and the National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (UK) guidelines (2022) now recommend dietary improvement and other lifestyle modifications as a foundational treatment for mood disorders. 

This is a positive starting point to augment the existing approaches to mental health. Yet there is still more that can be done on a day-to-day basis to improve eating habits and food choices toward better health, lifestyle and productivity. 

Can Employers Play a Role in Better Eating Habits? 

Dietary changes typically happen in our own households or via a medical setting, but there are also opportunities for workplaces to be involved in improving the eating habits of the workforce for better mental well-being, productivity, focus, concentration and general health. 

These days, it is an employee market with thousands of job vacancies on the market. This means that employees are looking for workplace benefits to entice them into a workplace, or to make it worth their while staying in an existing workplace. 

Any opportunity to improve health could be seen as a value add and a sign that the employer cares about their workforce. 

What might this look like in a workplace? 

Well, assuming you would do a needs assessment first and find out what sort of service is desired, there are a few ways you can package up your services for a corporate market. In other words, there are a variety of ways you can add value to workplaces in terms of employee nutrition. 

Firstly, educational and coaching programs can be offered to any employees to help them understand the benefits of healthy eating and to empower employees to develop healthier eating habits. If you don’t have a dietetics or nutrition qualification, education can be based on published government guidelines in an interactive, workshop-style arrangement. 

If you’re working with rural or remote workplaces where the workplace provides meals, one offering you could make is to help them develop a strategy to improve the nutritional quality of foods on offer at the workplace and reduce the availability of unhealthy options. This is an important consideration when employees don’t have access to healthy food other than at the workplace. 

Routine medical clearance and fitness for work checks can monitor body weight and waist-to-hip ratio as one indicator of nutritional health and can facilitate referral to a dietician or health coach to support behaviour change. Partnering with the EAP or medical service that the employer uses is another way to add value to the company. 

In some cases, running workplace challenges can also offer individuals the chance to improve their nutrition in a supportive team environment.  

Of course, individual coaching is also appropriate as an on-sell from or adjunct to any of these types of initiatives. 

The evidence is clear – eating habits play a significant role in brain health and mental health.  

And aside from medical and psychological support programs, there are many other opportunities for coaches to help organisation to improve the eating habits of their workforce, and consequently, improve their quality of life, health and work performance. 

The Opportunity for Coaches 

If you are a coach running a business that focuses on either nutrition, mental health or both, there are opportunities for you to approach workplaces to implement education and coaching strategies that will boost employee health, well-being, focus, productivity and performance. 

Citing the statistics and research is a great way to position your services to employers and gain their buy-in. It answers the ‘what’s in it for me’ question – why should I invest in your services? 

Summary 

Today we covered some of the groundbreaking research in nutritional psychiatry that demonstrates the links between nutrition and mental health. 

I also talked about some opportunities for employers to have an impact on employee well-being – especially important in times when employers are trying desperately to retain their talent. 

By presenting the facts and figures on the impact of nutrition on mental health and performance, and by outlining affordable opportunities for employers to offer a value add, you can position your coaching business to enter the corporate space more easily. 

If you have questions on this episode, hit me up on my contact page. 

  1. Jacka, F.N et. al (2011). The association between habitual diet quality and the common mental disorders in community-dwelling adults: the Hordaland Health study. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21715296/ 
  2.  Hodge, A. et al (2013) Patterns of dietary intake and psychological distress in older Australians: benefits not just from a Mediterranean diet. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23199436/  
  3. Fernanda, C Gabriel et al. (2022). Nutrition and bipolar disorder: a systematic review. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1028415X.2022.2077031  
  4. Jacka, F.N et al. (2014) Dietary patterns and depressive symptoms over time: examining the relationships with socioeconomic position, health behaviours and cardiovascular risk. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24489946/  

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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E#180 Engaging Clients With an All-In-One Community-building Platform

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Engaging Clients With an All-In-One Community-building Platform

Do you want to start an online group or membership, but aren’t sure where to start?

Are you sick of Facebook and want something independent and more personal?

Are you trying to work out payment systems, landing pages, booking software and all the other things that go with an online business, and aren’t sure how it all works and how they connect?

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Presence and resonance
* The inspiration for the book: The Connoisseur of Time
* How changing your relationship with time supports better coaching and business growth
* How being present creates more satisfying relationships

Then today’s episode is for you. I’ll walk you through a tour of the latest low-cost all-in-one platforms that you can use to build and host a connected, engaged community, promote events, book appointments, and even sell services through – without all the noise and ads.

Why People Love Communities

At the tribal level, humans want to be part of a tribe because we have an innate need to belong.

In years past, we lived in large tribes for our whole lives. These days, our tribe is often our immediate family. Our tribe is much smaller than it used to be, we’re working from home, or have moved away, so we seek connection in the online space to meet this basic, primal need.

Being part of a group helps to give you a sense of self and of identity, and of common purpose and support. A group of like-minded people gives us protection from others who challenge us, and it helps us avoid loneliness.

As a collective, we share ideas, gain new perspectives and build confidence and strength with the backing of those who support us, champion us, and believe in us. It gives us happiness and emotional resilience.

Why Businesses Need Communities

Smart businesses target a niche because it’s easier to be specific about who you help and how, and therefore, it’s easier for the right people to relate to you, and buy from you.

I see communities as a great way to bring your niche clients together into a place where they can support and connect with each other, where you can learn about what they want, where you can have more intimate conversations with them, build trust and relationship, and offer value to them (free and paid).

It totally makes sense for businesses to leverage this intrinsic human need and build a community of like-minded people who come together for a common purpose.

With that said, let’s look at some platforms where you can build community that AREN’T Facebook.

Two Platforms to Consider – That AREN’T Facebook

I will give you an overview of two platforms that you might like to explore.

Some common features include spaces or topics for separate discussions, increasing amounts of storage with the more expensive plans, group chat function, posting, member profiles, and integration with other software.

But more than that, the great thing about these new platforms is that they are starting to offer more features so that you don’t have to have multiple systems running at once.

For example, right now you might be using an email program like MailChimp or Gmail to send stuff out to your email list. Some of these new community platforms have built-in email.

Similarly, you might be wondering about building a website and the cost of that, or how to set up booking software. Some of these new community platforms have features that will allow your members to book and pay, so you may not need a separate software for that.

When looking at these options and their pricing, consider these sorts of features that could save you some money and help you have an all-in-one solution, rather than multiple payments and platforms.

Regardless, I suggest you sign up for the free trials offered and set aside at least 3 hours to explore and learn each platform, watch some YouTube clips about the platforms, and check the ratings and examples, before you decide.

That’s because if you don’t like the layout, features, look and feel etc, you won’t want to keep using the platform! Try before you buy!

Mighty networks – Build Communities, Courses and Memberships

Mighty networks is a platform for building an independent online community or business. It was founded by entrepreneurs who wanted to offer a framework for people to build their own social networks and run businesses from them.

Mighty networks has three plans:

  1. Community (includes a website plus livestream and video, chat, zoom integration and paid memberships),
  2. Business (includes online course options, live course creation and analytics), and
  3. Mighty Pro plan (app listing in Apple App and Google Play stores, account management and support).

Their value proposition is that you own your members (as opposed to the platform), you invest in a community (not an audience), and you build your own network effect (not just a content conveyor belt).

Their basic plan includes a website, plus a community function with livestreaming and video function, chat and messaging, an app, unlimited members, event and zoom integration (e.g. from separate platforms) and the option to offer paid memberships. Higher paid subscriptions include an online course add-on.

Community messaging is available but there is no native email, so you’d need to run that separately. Otherwise, you can use Zapier (which has a small cost per transaction) to integrate Mighty Networks with MailChimp, ConvertKit and other programs.

I’ve used this platform for a pilot test group and found it easy to navigate, with plenty of helpful tips and hints delivered along the way in the trial.

Circle – the all-in-one community platform for creators and brands

I first learned about Circle through a community I was in, that migrated from Mighty Networks to this platform.

The look and feel of Circle is similar to Mighty Networks, and the pricing is similar, but the features available at each pricing level are slightly “rearranged”.

Circle has three plans:

  1. Basic (simple community with essential features),
  2. Professional (live stream and video with higher usage limits), and
  3. Enterprise (including concierge, dedicated support team)

Their basic plan includes a community function, iOS app, a community function with chat and messaging, unlimited events and up to 1,000 members. Higher paid options include livestreaming and video function, and advanced analytics.

You can also offer tiers of membership and include ‘gated’ access to paid or VIP groups or content and have a range of member subscription options including free trials and upsells.

The Circle group I am in loves using this platform as they say it’s easier to use and seamless.

Summary

Today, we looked at the innate human need to belong, and how you can leverage that to build a community of niche clients around your business, building and maintaining a relationship based in trust, purpose and aligned values.

I talked briefly about two new so-called all-in-one platforms that are great alternatives to Facebook, where you can create, host and own your own community, app and membership/service offerings.

If you’re interested in creating an online community around your business, I recommend you set aside a couple of hours to trial each platform to see if either will suit your needs.

If you have feedback on these, please leave a comment on this episode for the benefit of others!

References and Links

Melanie White’s Passion to Profit program – foundational business building to create a profitable, purposeful business.

Winch, Dr Guy. The Importance of Belonging to a Tribe. Psychology Today website https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/202002/the-importance-belonging-tribe accessed 10.2.22 Mighty Networks Circle – the all-in-one community platform

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#178 8 Important Business Boundaries to Beat Burnout

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8 Important Business Boundaries to Beat Burnout 

Are you a business owner who is feeling a bit stressed and like you might be heading for burnt out? Today, I want to talk about 8 important business boundaries – boundaries that you set during your working day – that can help you to beat burnout, so you can maintain flow and productivity at work, with ease. 

Burnout is the state of mental, emotional and often physical exhaustion that is created by prolonged or repeated stress.  

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* What burnout in business is all about
* Planning, Boundaries and Burnout
* Parkinson’s Law
* 8 Important business boundaries to help you maintain resilience

In other words, it’s when we are regularly stretched beyond our capacity and resources that we start to feel burned out.  

Burnout is an important topic that’s relevant right now to so many people. Let’s explore how it can happen, and then, look at 8 work boundaries to help you beat burnout. 

Burnout in Business – It’s About More Than Just Self-Care 

I have been talking to a lot of people recently about burnout in business and it’s clear that burnout is about more than just self-care.   

One story stands out in my mind as an example. She is a business owner who says she has learned to set strong boundaries in her personal life and has been maintaining reasonable self-care, but still feels burnt out, and for quite a while, she couldn’t figure out why.  

It turns out that she had mastered boundary setting and goals in her personal life but hadn’t translated these skills into her business.  

In her personal life, she is exercising, eating well, meditating, reading and learning, going to bed early and spending time with friends and loved ones. 

Yet it’s been the opposite in her business until fairly recently. 

In the past, she had been pushing herself hard each day, overbooking herself, setting unrealistic deadlines, rushing through tasks in order to feel productive, using coffee to maintain her momentum, comparing herself with the perceived success of others, and striving for exorbitant goals.  

Because of these behaviours and habits, she’d often been working late and sometimes on weekends without any defined need or purpose and feeling increasingly anxious and stressed. 

And previously, she might notice these signs and think she just needed a holiday. She’d have a wonderfully restful break and then, promise herself that she’d take things easier when she got back to work. But pretty soon, things would ramp up again and she’d be back on the road to burnout.  

Does any of this sound familiar to you? 

This is just one version of how burnout can happen. I have been forming some concepts about some of the contributing factors over the past couple of years which I’d like to share with you now. 

Planning, Boundaries and Burnout 

We all know that beliefs and thought patterns contribute to the behaviours that cause burnout.  

But that aside, I have noticed that there is a clear relationship between your planning skills, ability to set boundaries and burnout. 

If you’re interested, I have touched on some elements of this in my previous podcast episodes 112, 113, 114, 149 and 150 (if you want to go back and visit those). 

Here’s how I see that they are related. 

Firstly, if your planning isn’t effective, it can be hard to set and maintain healthy boundaries around the plan in order to deliver on it. 

Think about that for a moment in this example. Let’s say you are brand new to business and you make an ambitious plan to service 50 clients by the end of this year. 

What happens if you haven’t got clarity on the steps, processes and tasks to get there, and haven’t mapped them out clearly enough? 

Chances are, you won’t identify the skills or support you might need to reach your goal. 

You’ll struggle to gauge whether your plan is realistic and achievable.  

Your poorly mapped tasks might take 3 times as long as you thought.  

You might get stuck in the minutiae of putting out fires as you desperately try to wade through your plan. 

And as you creep closer to the 12-month mark, determined to stick to your plan, you might start to break some of your own rules in order to achieve the 12-month goal at all costs.  

Like working past 5pm. Like working weekends.  Like lying awake at night and losing a lot of precious sleep as you ruminate on your to-do list. 

Hopefully you can see that good planning can help you to be better with your business boundaries – that they are largely intertwined – and that if you can do well with planning, then boundaries are easier and burnout is less likely. 

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t want to dive too deep into the psychology and beliefs, but I do want to mention the phenomenon known as Parkinson’s Law. 

Parkinson’s Law 

Parkinson’s law is a term coined by Cyril Northcote Parkinson in 1955 to describe the negative relationship between bureaucracy and productivity.  

Later, it was translated into an adage that “work expands or contracts so as to fill the time available for completion.” 

In other words, if you have a 38-hour work week available, your natural tendency is to fill all the gaps with work.  

Similarly, if you have a deadline, you can enjoy the luxury of procrastinating for weeks and then finally get the job done in the last hour before it’s due. 

This law can apply to money and household items too! 

It’s clear that setting time boundaries at work is critical for your ability to be productive and effective. The success of Tim Ferriss’ book The 4-hour Work Week is a testament to this; it’s basically a manual on how to manipulate Parkinson’s Law.  

Overall, in this discussion about boundaries and burnout, it’s clear that humans are good at creating work for themselves, whether it is necessary or not, and that is also something that can lead to burnout. 

If you have your self-care and personal boundaries in order – great! If not, go back to my previous podcasts I mentioned and take a listen. 

Now, let’s talk about 8 important business boundaries that you can set to maintain flow and productivity at work, with ease. 

8 Important Business Boundaries 

(1) Scheduling – one key task per day 

Scheduling is the most important part of planning, and it relates to the planning step I mentioned earlier. If you schedule properly, your finish work boundaries and lunch break boundaries are much easier to uphold! 

When scheduling your week, remember that new tasks or project tasks invariably take longer than you planned, you will get blindsided by unexpected events, people will cancel, and you will get new and or urgent invitations. 

When running a business, accept that you will constantly pivot to some degree, whether you like it or not. 

So with all that said, the best way to accommodate this is to set only one key task to complete per day (more is a bonus) and leave a chunk of white space in your diary for the unforeseen or under-scoped tasks.  

This is a challenging boundary at first, but it gets easier as you start reaping the benefits of a calm mind and more productivity than you thought possible. 

(2) Scheduling – one free day (or half day) per week 

Building on the planning theme, I find that one full day with no meetings – absolutely not negotiable – is a great chance to catch up, work at a slower pace, and be creative. 

Without the urgency or interruption of meetings and appointments, you can be super productive and feel like a champion. Try it. 

The boundary is to resist the temptation to squeeze in that meeting or phone call so it’s out of the way. Challenge yourself; stay strong.

(3) Maximum meetings 

One final point on planning – this is my personal favourite – limit the total number of meetings or client appointments you have each week.  

Meetings can be energizing, but too many can be draining, or even frustrating, and they can rob time from tasks that require focus and critical thinking. 

Humans are wired to distract themselves, so a day peppered with meetings gives you a mental ‘excuse’ not to start a task because you ‘don’t have time’.  

After a good year of observing myself, I realised that my capacity is 10 meetings per week. 

More than this, and I start to panic that I won’t get any work done, or I can’t get enough focused time to do the project or other desk work I must do. 

Learning to postpone or reschedule fits into this category too – it’s a good boundary to have to help you maintain flow, energy and productivity. 

(4) Work with your energy 

Related to scheduling, and in the vein of David Allen’s model called Getting Things Done, it makes sense to work with your natural energy cycles and make the most of the highs and lows. 

The way it works is like this. Let’s say you have 2 – 3 tasks you need to do on a particular day, and a meeting.  

If possible, set the meeting at a time when you know you feel calm and present, like 11am. 

For your other tasks, you can predict how your energy will be and plan accordingly, and feel free to shuffle around on the day in case anything has changed. 

It’s order and disorder in harmony. 

For me, I often feel creative first thing on a Monday and it’s a great time to map out podcast topics. 

But some Mondays I know I have a deadline and I can’t think creatively, so I’ll do the urgent stuff first, take a break, and relax and get creative in the afternoon. 

Honouring your body’s basic needs is a trickier boundary to set as it relies on self-observation and a willingness to adjust last minute. But once again, the reward is greater than the cost.  

Imagine feeling like you are in flow every day, making the most of how you are feeling in each moment? 

(5) Watch your caffeine intake 

Putting my health coach hat on, coffee is delightful and it’s a stimulant and diuretic.  

There is a t-shirt that says coffee: energy to do stupid things faster. The t-shirt is right.  

If coffee makes you speed up, your sense of urgency will increase, you might start rushing, panicking, feeling like you’re short on time….and then comes the frenzy. 

Calm the farm and watch your caffeine. It is found in green, white and black tea to a lesser extent, nootropic drinks and coffee, energy drinks and cola drinks. 

Most people can stay calm at one or maybe two cups per day. Don’t push the friendship; keep your boundary on simulants at work so you can remain calm and focused. 

(6) Drink enough water 

I created a 50-day program for myself in 2021 and the life changing moment was realising the impact that hydration has on my energy, focus, mental clarity and cognitive function. I was in a better mood and more motivated. 

The boundary is simply this – do something to remember to drink enough water. 

My simple trick is to fill my 750mL bottle first thing, put it next to my mouse, and aim to finish it by the time I eat my lunch, and refill it then to finish the second one by 6pm. Works a treat. 

Your needs are affected by your age, gender, size, activity levels and temperature, but generally most people need 2 – 2.5L/day (women need slightly less). 

If you are thirsty or often hungry, you are definitely dehydrated. Water is a game changer and a great business boundary to uphold. 

(7) Saying no when you’re tired 

So many people try to push through to finish a task, or to be efficient, or to get meetings done.  If you can recognise when you’re tired and are at capacity, then you can more easily set a boundary and say no to yourself and others so you can rejuvenate and avoid the slippery slope to burnout. 

Let’s face it – tired people tend to make mistakes, do shoddy work or lose concentration and focus, then may try to compensate by pushing themselves. All of that is counterproductive.  

Saying no gives you breathing space to re-energize and create true value in your business. 

Finishing work at a set time falls into this category – but be flexible enough to finish early if you need to. 

(8) Step back and review urgency 

If you’re busy, tired, have a flood of emails or meeting requests, it’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of urgency for unimportant things, that aren’t really that urgent at all. 

Stepping back or as I call it, zooming out each day to review the urgency of tasks is a really helpful way to prioritize time, reschedule and stay calm. I have often caught myself feeling a rising sense of panic, and then ‘zoomed out’ to look logically at the tasks I am working on to ask myself – how urgent is this REALLY? 

It’s an eye-opening thought interrupt that helps you calm down, re-assess your priorities and make the changes you need to stay on top of your game. 

The boundary is having the discipline to step back and review rather than forge ahead. 

Summary 

Wow, we covered a lot today. 

We talked about how all the personal boundaries in the world don’t prevent burnout – you need to transfer the skills of planning and boundary-setting to your business if you want to remain calm, focused, productive and resilient. 

I mentioned the complicating factor of Parkinson’s Law, which is our innate desire to expand our work to fill the allocated schedule.  

And I covered 8 business boundaries that might help you to regain your balance, focus, optimism and avoid burnout. They are: 

  1. Schedule 1 key task per day 
  2. Schedule 1 free day per week 
  3. Set maximum meetings per week 
  4. Match your work to your energy 
  5. Manage your caffeine intake at work 
  6. Drink enough water at work 
  7. Say no when you’re tired 
  8. Step back and review task urgency 

These are what works for me, and I encourage you to have a try. And I’d love to hear your feedback – which business boundaries work for you? 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#177 Tragic Optimism

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Tragic Optimism

Are you sick of the relentless stream of drama and bad news and just wish you could find something positive to read and share? 

Then you might be interested in tragic optimism and the opportunities it might bring you to feel more positive and purposeful in these challenging times. 

What is Tragic Optimism? 

If you’ve read the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, you will know that he discusses this concept through the lens of life in a concentration camp.  

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* What Tragic Optimism means, and the research behind it
* Avoiding the ‘happiness trap’

He talks about making suffering meaningful, seeing guilt as a chance to improve ourselves, and interpreting life’s fragility and unpredictability as motivation to find meaning.  

He found a way to transcend suffering through his own inner decision-making. 

Frankl defined ‘tragic optimism’ as a state of optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of the human potential which, at its best, always allows for: 

  1. turning suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment 
  2. out of guilt, defining the opportunity to change oneself for the better, and 
  3. out of life’s transitoriness, defining an incentive to take responsible action. 

He doesn’t claim that we must suffer to discover meaning, but rather, that meaning can be found despite or because of suffering. 

Where does real happiness come from? 

Frankl says it comes from finding meaning in our lives, because this is what provides our reason to be happy.  

More recently with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, research by Anna Gotlib (1) backs Viktor Frankl’s concept of tragic optimism.  

Her study indicates that people who cope better in crisis can do so because they can acknowledge suffering without being pulled under by it.  

Gotlib says it’s not about finding happiness or even distraction from sadness. It is about repairing our narratives and our lives – about learning to let go of the stories around isolation, defeat, loss of control and worthlessness – and to create new narratives and recast a more meaningful future where hope exists. 

I would consider myself to be a tragic optimist in many ways. I believe that the negative stories we tell ourselves are instructions on how to act. It is only when we define new stories that we provide the clear instructions to our bodies and brains on how to step into our future selves and flourish. 

Let’s be clear – this is not a ‘don’t’ worry, be happy’ concept. 

It is about honouring uncertainty and encouraging hopefulness. It is about recognising that we can turn inwards to find new words, ideas and valuations, and then share them outwardly and begin again. 

So, how do we do this? 

Avoiding The Happiness Trap 

Well, for starters, we can avoid the Happiness Trap. 

What is that? Well, it’s a concept offered by Dr Russ Harris (2).  

In his book of the same name, Russ describes an empirically supported model known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an effective model that can help you to address suffering and find meaning. 

And sure, there are many ways and disciplines that can help you to tackle suffering and finding meaning, such as self-compassion, mindfulness and cognitive behaviour therapy. 

ACT includes aspects of all of these, and more.  

Rather than focussing on striving for happiness, it teaches you to undermine struggle, avoidance and loss using mindfulness, acceptance, cognitive defusion and a focus on values-based living. 

ACT has over 35 years of evidence in treating conditions from anxiety and chronic pain to weight loss and performance enhancement, and over 300 randomised controlled trials that support the efficacy of ACT in alleviating suffering and promoting human flourishing. 

Isn’t it amazing to think that by changing your relationship with your thoughts and feelings, you can transcend both physical and emotional pain? 

In my opinion, if you want to find meaning and become a tragic optimist whose life is based on meaning and fulfilment, I think Russ is the best person to help. 

He teaches you how to blow your own mind, so to speak, by naming your stories and becoming a better storyteller, by separating yourself from unhelpful thoughts, and by learning simple tricks and techniques to defusing those thoughts and find true acceptance. 

By doing this, you can stop chasing happiness (which is the trap he describes) and transform your relationship with painful thoughts and feelings to lessen their impact and influence over your life. 

In turn, you create space for a rich and meaningful life, a sense of vitality and fulfilment that is satisfying and long lasting.   

Now I know that some people might rail at the thought of having to ‘accept’ things.  

But have you considered the true definition of acceptance? 

It’s not tolerating or putting up with things – it literally means taking what is offered. It is opening yourself up to what is happening right now.   

And it is your first firm foothold to stop suffering and to start taking action toward more of what you want in life. 

Summary 

In these uncertain times, it can be hard to feel positive or find hope in the difficult circumstances that are affecting us all. 

But there are pioneers and researchers such as Viktor Frankl, Anna Gotlib and Russell Harris who have done great work to prove that we can rise above the painful thoughts and feelings we have, to become tragic optimists – people who are able to transcend the unhelpful thought loops and re-craft stories that give us more meaning, purpose and ultimately, freedom. 

References 

  1. Gotlib A. Letting Go of Familiar Narratives as Tragic Optimism in the Era of COVID-19. J Med Humanit. 2021;42(1):81-101. doi:10.1007/s10912-021-09680-8 
  2. Harris, Russell. The Science. The Happiness Trap Website accessed 26.1.22. https://thehappinesstrap.com/the-science/ 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

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E#176 Burnout and Rust Out – Are You At Risk?

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Burnout and Rust Out – Are You At Risk?

Have you been working at home, including supporting your clients or teams through mental issues, over the past two years? Let’s talk about some of the mental health impacts that people in supporting roles may face – burnout or rust out – so you can understand and identify these two elements that have the potential to impact your role as a leader, manager, mentor or coach. 

This is the first in a series of conversations I’d like to have with you about understanding burnout and anxiety, and how to recover and build resilience. 

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Burnout, Rust Out, and Consequences
* Risk factors for burnout and rust out
* Managing or Reducing Burnout and Rust Out

These are such important topics because our working world has been turned upside down and this has impacted our mental health – and let’s face it – our mental health underpins both our personal and professional success.  

Background 

Over the past two years, we have seen significant changes in both working conditions and the mental health of workers and business owners.  

If you are an employee, or if you are a manager leading customers or teams, your daily role has invariably expanded to include dealing with other people’s emotional challenges.  

If you are a business owner and especially those in coaching businesses, it’s been more than just business as usual – you have faced a multi-pronged challenge of running your business while supporting your clients through greater than usual mental health challenges related to lockdown, home schooling, isolation, separation, loss of income, grief and the consequent depression and anxiety.  

On top of this, all of us have been dealing with our own emotional and situational challenges that potentially lead to mental health issues like anxiety or burnout. 

In simpler terms, it’s difficult to support others when your cup is empty. 

It’s hard to be an effective listener, leader and coach if you are struggling with anxiety. 

It’s hard to think clearly and make decisions if you’re overwhelmed. 

It’s difficult to be effective if you have lost purpose and direction. 

We need to understand what’s going on so we can deal with things more effectively and thrive in spite of what is going on around us. 

Burnout, Rust Out, and Consequences  

We all recognise the risks of burning out in such circumstances, but there is also the risk of something called ‘rust out’.  

At a simple level, we can describe burnout and rust out in terms of the number of challenges being faced, versus the resources we have available to meet those challenges. 

In the case of burnout, you may be facing substantial challenges but few resources to cope. 

Consider the effect of the pandemic. So many people are dealing with more stress, grief, isolation above and beyond what we they normally experience, or may be in roles where there are high levels of physical and/or emotional demand. 

Examples might include mental health counsellors who are trying to cope with an increase in emotionally challenged calls or clients, or on the other hand, there businesses that are thriving in the pandemic and may be working long hours, struggling to keep up with demand. 

In either case, workers may eventually lose the energy or ability to meet those demands, and this puts them on the road to burnout. 

And the result?  

Chronic and excess stress that leads to a sense of overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and detachment, a sense of ineffectiveness, and a lack of accomplishment (professional efficacy) (1). These are the hallmarks of burnout. 

Compare that with its’ opposite, rust out, where you may be facing few challenges but have plenty of resources to cope. 

Consider again, the effect of the pandemic. Perhaps your work has dried up to the point where you have very little to do, and you’ve started clock watching at 10am. Perhaps your career prospects have dwindled and you’re doing mostly menial work, shuffling papers and attending endless meetings.  

The result? 

You may become bored, disheartened and directionless. Your day feels monotonous, and you are developing a sense of dissatisfaction with a career. You are also at risk of anxiety – a sense of – where is this all heading? – or depression.  

It’s pretty clear that your ability to identify the risks and warning signs of either burnout or rust out means you can adjust, course correct, and stay on top of your mental health and thrive, in spite of what is going on around you. 

Risk factors for burnout and rust out 

In various studies, burnout risk factors are cited as gender, age, tenure and occupation, but there is variability in each of these. 

Generally, though, burnout seems to affect all industries and since the pandemic, it has occurred on a larger scale. 

In a report by Microsoft, interviews with 9,600 frontline workers revealed that some workers reported feeling an increased sense of connection with co-workers due to shared stress from the pandemic, but many felt underappreciated by supervisors and that lack of communication had contributed to their burnout.  

Further, 51% of non-management position frontline workers did not feel valued and wanted help to address physical exhaustion and mental health. 

In the mining industry in Western Australia, a pre-pandemic (2018) survey of fly in, fly out (FIFO) workers showed that 1/3 of workers surveyed experienced high or very high feelings of anxiety and depression, and burnout was significantly higher for FIFO workers than the benchmark group.  

Within the FIFO-based occupations of all mining employees, highest risk groups were makes 30 – 34 and 40 – 44 years of age, with eight people per week taking their lives in Western Australia. 

Other factors contributing to burnout in FIFO workers higher workload, high job demands, reduced engagement, work-family conflict (which had a negative impact). 

Burnout was found to be detrimental for safety compliance, contributing to more accidents and unsafe behaviours. 

The most influential resources for burnout were social support, leadership and a positive safety culture, good management skills and reasonable job demands.  

Looking at these two specific occupations, it’s clear that burnout is more than just about the demands of the job. It’s as much about isolation, loneliness, relationships and leadership. 

Managing or Reducing Burnout and Rust Out 

There are many strategies to avoid, manage and reduce burnout and rust out. 

I will cover many of those in future articles, but for now, I would like to quote my colleague and friend, David Carroll, a Trainer and Leadership Consultant who has extensive experience in this area. 

David says: 

“It’s important to differentiate between regular work-related stress and the state of being burned out. Stress is usually temporary and easily overcome. Stress is usually short-lived or tied to a specific goal. And when that goal is accomplished, the stress usually goes away.  

On the other hand, burnout is an extended period of stress accompanied by emotional changes. Burnout is a long-lasting condition that may need the help of a professional to treat. Regular stress, on its own, is not harmful. Burnout is damaging to both the individual who feels the burnout and those involved in that individual’s life.  

Developing your self-awareness and establishing coping mechanisms are the keys to building resilience, replenishing your energy reserves and regaining your passion and purpose in life. It’s all about establishing a healthy business mindset, healthy business body, healthy business relationships and healthy business development tools.” 

Summary 

The past two years of the pandemic have thrust change in the way we work and have exposed us to greater, chronic stressors. 

Today, we talked about how changes at work may add to the intrinsic mental health risks we face at work and could result in burnout or rustout. 

Burnout is a situation of lacking resources to cope with too many challenges, leading to overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and detachment, a sense of ineffectiveness, and a lack of accomplishment (professional efficacy). 

Rust out is a situation where your work has diminished and/or become menial, resulting in a sense of boredom, monotony and dissatisfaction which may lead to anxiety and/or depression.  

We know that healthy relationships, supportive leadership, and personal care are critical to resolving both of these. I look forward to diving into those topics in coming episodes. 

  1. Boring-Bray, W. 2020. Behavioural Health Providers are Burning Out or Rusting Out. Psychology Today website accessed 17.1.22 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

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E#175 Does Your Business Need a Website?

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Does Your Business Need a Website?

A lot of graduate coaches get focused on having and launching a website because we are told that having an online presence is essential to business success.  

But is this important? Does your business need a website? 

Let’s talk honestly about this so you can take a breather and get clear on exactly what you need to do, and when. 

The Reality 

There are two realities when it comes to business websites. 

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* The two realities of business websites
* A simple website readiness quiz to work out if you’re even ready for a website
* Some ‘for now’ options that are just as good, if not better!

Firstly, you need to know a lot about your intended audience, and you need to have spent enough time on income-generating activities to know the value you bring to your audience. 

Secondly, when you hit ‘publish’ on the website, it will end up on page 7 gazillion on a Google search. Nobody will know it’s there – so you will need to have a plan to promote and market your website. 

What this means is that if you are fairly new to business, and/or lack client experience, you have a lot of work to do before even considering building a website. 

Otherwise, you risk spending a huge amount of time and money on something that won’t generate any income, delays you getting experience and reviews, and isn’t visible to the outside world.  

I have prepared a website readiness quiz to help you get clarity on where you are at. See how you go with answering these questions and check your score at the end. 

Website Readiness Quiz 

Let me ask you a few questions before we answer this question.  

  1. How long have you been running your business – or are you brand new? 
  2. Do people know what you are capable of? 
  3. What sort of people do you attract? 
  4. What does your business stand for? 
  5. Do you have clarity on your niche? 
  6. Do you truly know and understand your niche client? 
  7. Can you describe your niche client’s problem and solution clearly, in their words? 
  8. Do you know their specific desired outcomes in their words? 
  9. What format is your program? 
  10. Which dates are you running your program this year? 
  11. What is your lead magnet for the program? 
  12. When are your marketing campaigns running – and on which channels? 
  13. How and where will you promote your website? 

Here’s how to score yourself for these questions. 

If you could answer all 13 questions clearly and easily, then your business is probably ready for a website. You have a clear offering, clarity on your market, what they want help with, and probably some level of traction and proof of success. 

If you could answer 7 or more questions clearly and easily, your business is not quite ready for a website. You need to do some pilot or beta testing, market research and/or planning to truly understand how to position your business on a website, and/or where to promote it. 

If you struggled to answer even 7 of these questions, your business is clearly not ready for a website. You need to do or get help with many of the business basics, to develop a blueprint for success, get some experience and start earning an income before you are ready to create a website. 

So, If Not a Website, Then What? 

It’s super easy to create an online presence and credibility without the time and expense of a website. 

Three cheap, very effective options are: 

(1) Create a professional-looking LinkedIn profile for your business, with good-quality photos and descriptions of how you help your clients. You can also ask clients to give reviews on this platform which lends credibility, trust and social proof.  

This option is great if your business targets clients in professional roles or corporate settings, or where your leads come from professional networks such as allied health.  

In these cases, professionalism is especially important, and a good LinkedIn profile can convey this. 

(2) Create a professional-looking Google My Business profile for your business, same as above. You can ask clients to give 5-star ratings on this platform which boosts your Google visibility.  

This option is great for businesses targeting a local area (e.g. your local shire) and/or if your marketing strategy will focus on publishing, guest blogging, blogging, SEO or other online strategies. 

It can be an easy entry point for more introverted people who feel exhausted at the thought of daily interaction on a social media platform, or for those who are not on social media. 

(3) Start a social media following (e.g. Facebook or Instagram).  

This option is great if you love being on social media and are a people person, love being in groups, and are extraverted or get a lot of energy from others. 

It suits clients who are extraverted and love engaging online, being active in groups, and get value from a lot of support and interaction from you and their peers. 

Summary 

Does your business need a website? As you can see, it depends on which stage of business you are in.  

If you are brand new, without a track record, it makes sense that you choose a quicker, easier option to gain online visibility. 

Then, when you have a track record, experience, a better understanding of your niche, and some social proof – you will have all the information and clarity you need to launch a website that will actually work for your business. 

If you need help with understanding your audience, enquire about my February or June Passion to Profit Course intakes, where we go through the foundational work behind understanding your clients, your best marketing strategies and marketing channels. 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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E#173 Shiny New Things

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Shiny New Things

Today, I will share a short reflection on taking a realistic view of goal setting for the coming year – so you can avoid shiny objects and focus on meaningful, realistic and achievable outcomes.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Your strategy for the new year
* Focusing on what’s most important and meaningful

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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E#172 Christmas Presence

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Christmas Presence

Merry Christmas to you! I want to share some insights about the opportunity that Christmas brings – to stop doing and start being – and to slow down and simply be present. Best wishes for the festive season and thanks for being with me, listening in each week.

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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E#171 Pull Marketing – Attract Clients with Confidence

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Pull Marketing – Attract Clients with Confidence

I was asked recently for tips on how to ask clients to work with you, or engage people in a sales process. This episode covers what I call a coaching approach to attracting clients with confidence and creating clients with ease. 

What is Pull Marketing?

I use the concept of ‘pull’ marketing. It means creating demand for your services or products, rather than pushing them onto people.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* 4 Step “Pull Marketing” Process
* Getting it Right

If you are a coach, you are perfectly equipped with the coaching skills that can help you do this easily. All you need to do is to flip your thinking and redefine the words that currently seem icky and uncomfortable, like “marketing” and “sales”. 

The essence of pull marketing, from a coaching perspective, is to speak with conviction about your why, to be aspirational and inspirational, and to build or tap into a community around that. Then to match your values and services with the people who need them, and offer to support them through a journey if and when they are ready to take it.

Here is a rough 4-step process that I use, that others have used, and that really works.

4 Step “Pull Marketing” Process

Step 1 – Start with the Why

Pull marketing starts with clearly communicating your big why and your bigger mission and really unpacking it.

The why naturally speaks to a huge problem that people want to solve – confidence, fear, isolation, self-doubt – or whatever it is. 

It paints an aspirational picture of what’s possible (and what we can achieve together). People see themselves in that and create a shared vision.

Speaking to the why regularly ignites the fire in people who are thinking about change but are afraid (it’s not you, it’s them!) – they move through the stages of change to become ready.

They sit up and take notice. Your inspirational and aspirational approach gives them a sense of hope, of potential, and that you are the leader who can help them.

Step 2 – Give a Vehicle for Engagement

By communicating your why in your content, people are attracted and engage with you as they become readier and readier to change (and therefore buy).

They want to stay connected because it feels good to be around you.

They may not be ready to buy yet.

So, create a vehicle for engagement. Give them a place to go to stay in touch – a meetup group, a LinkedIn group, or some other ‘container’ for like-minded people.

They will want to be part of that community and they will have ownership if they can co-create it with you (and this is the coaching way). 

In that container, you can speak more to the journey they are on and help them solve day-to-day problems that they’re facing, and to get peer support.

Be authentic, and speak to both obstacles and wins. Keep the positive momentum going.

The community will become very problem aware, and solution aware, and are equipped to evaluate how important it is to change at this time.

Step 3 – Add More Value

With the help of your content in steps 1 and 2, some of the people in your audience will become more ready to change and will start to prepare for change.

You can add more value in an event of some kind – a workshop, webinar, etc.

In that session you would unpacking your why (related to their problem), and then introduce how you help people solve that problem. What has worked for you, and/or your clients?

What you are selling is support to walk people through a 4-step process or formula for helping them go from point A (problem) to point B (solution).

Engage the audience and make them part of it. Make the content specific and relevant to them. And right up front, let them know that at the end you’ll let people know how to work with you if they want to.

Step 4 – Make a SMART Offer 

There is an offer at the end of this event (and you can make this offer once a month at least, for your general audience). The offer is your vehicle to actually help those people to find the confidence and support they need on such a big journey.

The offer is essentially formulated like a SMART goal (I am patenting this idea)

It talks about the:

  1. Specific problem you are helping with and type of people who have that problem 
  2. Two Measurable elements – how long it is (e.g. 8-week program) and how many people you have capacity to work with (e.g. 5 clients)
  3. Actions that 
    1. people need to take e.g. must be committed to attending weekly sessions, and, 
    2. the actions that you will take to help them overcome their obstacles and objections
  4. Realistic results that people will get if they take the actions – and the outcomes that those actions will generate e.g. have a bigger impact, be a role model for their kids
  5. Timing of the offer – e.g. contact you by a specific date, starting on a specific date

Then, you must have the next steps mapped out clearly to enquire or take up the offer.

I like to have a good fit call to see if the person is truly ready to change, and if they are a fit for working with me.

If they aren’t interested, it might not be the right offer or the right time.

If they aren’t fit, you can refer them to someone or something else.

In either case, you can STILL offer them value through ongoing connection with you on (LinkedIn, email, community etc) and you can invite them to share the message with others who need the courage and confidence to navigate the journey.

Getting it Right

This method works for me, and others. 

Your courage to do it is borne from your bigger why, the thing that you MUST do no matter what – which is the kryptonite for your fears.

If you can engage people in your why and share the dream with them, and co-create a vision, you will both be able to put the fear of marketing and sales aside and focus on making a change, and a difference. 

Summary

Attracting clients and selling programs is a big challenge for a lot of coaches. There are mental and emotional hurdles and often limiting beliefs in the way.

Your courage to make offers is borne from your bigger why, the thing that you MUST do no matter what.

Pull marketing is a strategy that leverages coaching skills and strengths.

The four-step process I shared today includes:

  1. Starting with the why (as the focus for all your content) 
  2. Creating a vehicle for engagement where you dive into the what 
  3. Adding more value by offering events that truly help the people who are becoming ready to change
  4. Making a SMART offer that helps people connect with you so they can benefit from your skills, abilities and support.

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More

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E#146 Enough!

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Having, Doing and Being Enough

If you have ever struggled with being good enough, doing enough, or having enough, let’s unwind that and get to the truth in this episode so you can make peace with these feelings and let them go!

Having, Doing and Being Enough

One of the common denominators of discomfort is the sense of not having, doing or being ‘enough.’ It comes up a lot for people in business and life, and any of these three ‘enoughs’ can be a roadblock to your success and satisfaction.

In this episode, I’ll talk about 
* Having, Doing and Being Enough
* You Have, You Do, You Are Enough
* Reframing

Today I want to talk about the signs that you might be feeling like you don’t have enough, do enough or that you aren’t enough, the results they cause, and how to overcome them.

Please know that all of these attitudes come from a place of lack or inadequacy. If you think with a ‘lack’ mindset, it will show up first in your self-talk – in other words, the thoughts you have – and that will affect how you feel and act, and the results you get.

Lucky, these are things you can change. We will talk about that at the end.

You Have Enough

Even if you think that you have enough, the internet, media and marketing that’s out there in the world try to convince you that you don’t have enough – usually, so they can rope you in and sell you more stuff.

This shows up in various guises. 

For example, there is the guise that your home needs to be redecorated and so you need all of the latest trendy colours and styles. 

Another example is that the clothes that you’re wearing might be “out of date” and so you need to buy some new clothes so that you are dressing in a way that is socially acceptable and ‘on trend’.

In the business world,  you have all of these people telling you that they have the perfect formula for growing your business, the perfect way to beat your money mindset issues, or the perfect training to help you grow your Facebook audience, or that you need extra training to become good at what you do in your profession.

While some of these things may be true, while it may be good to update your stuff, learn more or perhaps develop some new skills, the truth of the matter is that what you have is perfectly good right now and it probably is enough. 

When I was growing up, there was a saying that people needed to “keep up with the Joneses”. The Free Dictionary.com defines this as when someone deliberately buys or does the same things as the people around them so that they appear as successful as them.

Whether it’s about your own lack of self-confidence, or the desire to appear as successful as other people, this sense of not having enough is a huge impediment to you being authentically you and to succeeding and growing as a person and in your business.

Here’s why. 

When you are so busy trying to have enough, it means that you are probably collecting or accumulating things that you may not necessarily need. 

This is where overwhelm starts, and here’s what the signs of overwhelm look like. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed with your business and/or life, you might be telling people you are ‘juggling a lot of balls’ or have ‘too much on your plate.’ You might not be making time for your own self-care and rejuvenation. Maybe you can’t remember the last time you took a holiday. You might be worrying about not remembering everything in all last year’s training courses and needing to go and learn more stuff. Any or all of these are signs that you have too much going on. 

RIght now, look around at all of the training courses and books and clothes and things that you have, then imagine how you’d feel if you had to move house right now. What would that bring up for you? 

I bet you would feel stuck and wonder where to start, or put it off until ‘later’ because the job is too big to tackle.

If this sounds like you, then you might want to consider listening to my previous podcast Overcoming Purpose Blocks. In that episode, we cover things that get in the way of you being your authentic self and clearing away that clutter so you can define who you are and what’s important to you.

When you truly accept that you have enough, then and only then you will be able to spend more time making the best use of all of the things that you have. You will get to savour them, cherish them, enjoy them, and make good use of them. 

In contrast, when you have too many things to worry about, then life and business become a tick and flick exercise as you strive to keep up and get onto the next urgent thing.

When it comes to training, we are constantly sold the fact that we don’t know enough. 

I recently heard a very good commentary on the Bible as a metaphor for learning.  A religious person doesn’t go out and buy hundreds of different sorts of books and read them in order to develop spirituality. They have one book that they read over and over again, so that they truly know, understand, and embody the wisdom within it. 

Imagine if you did that with the latest training course that you completed? Imagine if you actually applied what you learnt? How would that change things for you?

I encourage you to consider what serves you in life and what doesn’t, and to make a list.

Stop keeping things “just in case.” 

Then, start getting rid of things that no longer serve you.

You Do Enough

The next thing to think about is whether you are ‘doing enough’. 

Maybe you’re on social media looking at a bunch of happy, successful people who are doing amazing things and living amazing and successful lives, wondering why you can’t have this too, and wondering if you are doing enough to get there.

This is 100% smoke and mirrors. It’s your brain working against you.

I’d like to illustrate this with a story.

A few years ago I made a vignette movie, capturing some really great surfing moments from about a dozen surf sessions that my husband had enjoyed. 

The movie was set to a 3 ½ minute, heavy rock song that created a lot of energy and fit with the carving turns and cutbacks he was making in the surf. 

We shared the movie with a few people to show the surf highlights from that year. 

What I found interesting was that a couple of people came back to us and said, “Gee all you guys do is party and surf, doing a lot of stuff, being all pumped up and energetic. When do you find time to work and clean your house and stuff?” 

Isn’t it interesting that someone could look at 3 ½ minute movie – out of a total of 525,600 minutes in a year – and believe that that was representative of our whole life? 

This is what we do on social media.

We see the person who has lost 30 kg and we forget about the months of toil, mental challenge, and physical effort required to get there.

We see the successful person in business who has 40,000 followers and makes a 6-figure income and forget about the years of toil, trial, experimenting and failure they’ve endured.

But at the end of the day, doing enough is really just about staying in your lane, focusing on one thing and doing it well and persisting until the end. 

It’s not about doing lots of different things all at once.

In business, doing enough is about researching and developing a solid plan, getting advice and help to test and implement it, and persisting until it’s complete.

Doing enough doesn’t mean that more is better – doing enough means that being selective, focused and persisting in a smart way is better! 

In life, doing enough is about acting and giving within your personal capacity, and giving as much to yourself as you give to others. It’s finding the sweet spot between pleasure and achievement.

According to psychologist Chris Skellet, excessive focus on pleasure can lead to guilt and inadequacy, and excessive focus on achievement can lead to frustration and burnout.

I invite you to answer the question right now and to just give an immediate reaction – do you do enough?

Although I’m not a betting person, I bet you $100 that you do enough. 

If you’re not sure, then I recommend that you give your brain the proof – write down all of the things that you do for yourself and others, and for the world. Then ask the question again.

The truth will reveal itself!

You Are Enough

Most people have a deep-seated fear of not being enough.

Feeling that you’re not enough can show up in your life as comparing yourself to others, buying into feedback from others (no matter what the feedback is), rating your self-worth through your achievements or developing an excessive need for approval or to be liked. 

If you feel you’re not enough, you might also attach negative labels to yourself or overgeneralise about how terrible, helpless or stupid you are – those sorts of things. 

And further, if you think this way about yourself, please know that your brain will start to seek proof that it’s true. 

When someone doesn’t reply to your text, if they don’t return your phone call, if you didn’t get a perfect score on your test, the ‘not good enough’ thinking person will turn those events into proof of inadequacy.

As I say this aloud, it probably sounds illogical. And it is. The problem is, if this dialogue is running in your head, it’s not easy to see that illogical talk for what it is. 

I coached someone once who said they were no good at following through on anything and they were always giving up. The funny thing was they had just completed a year-long program that they’d persisted with even when they wanted to give up!

Reflecting that back to this person created a sharp realisation that the belief was not true.

Now it’s your turn. I invite you to think differently – because ‘not good enough’ thinking will 100% NOT help you to get to where you want to be.

That is just going to keep you in the cul-de-sac of frustration and misery.

Stop focusing on perfection, feeling dissatisfied with what you can’t do, and why you can’t do it.

Start asking a better-quality question.

Instead of asking what’s wrong with you, ask what’s right with you.

Make a list. Find the evidence of all the strengths, skills and wisdom you have.

Instead of thinking about how far you have to go, reflect on how far you’ve come!

Instead of talking about what you can’t achieve and why, talk about what you are determined to achieve and how.

Reframing

You might see that a common pattern in these three cases is negative self-talk. 

It’s your inner critic.

The way forward is to watch your thoughts and start reframing those sentences so you can turn your lack mentality into a mindset of adequacy, or even, abundance. 

Hire a coach to help you if you find yourself falling into a hole.

I am working with clients on this right now and at times it’s hard for them but boy, have I seen some transformative thinking and feelings as a result of doing the work!

Reframing is simple, not easy, but it’s extremely powerful and the effect is long lasting.

Of all the habits you could possibly develop in life, this is by far the most important as it reduces stress, builds resilience and most importantly, builds self-belief.

When you have self-belief – anything is possible. ANYTHING!

Summary

Today I talked about three common ‘enough’ thinking patterns.

Not having enough, not doing enough, and not being enough.

They all come from a place of lack rather than abundance.

And none of them are helpful.

The way forward in all cases is to develop a habit of thought-watching and reframing.

It is the most powerful and transformative habit that you can develop because it will change the way you approach your life, it will build resilience and it will build self-belief.

It will help you to find your purpose and passion and to live a more satisfied life.

If you need coaching support for this important work, hit me up on my contact page.

I currently have space for three new clients.

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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E#118 Rehearsal Loop

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This episode is about the rehearsal loop. Have you heard of it? 

You know when you’re laying in bed (if you’re a night owl) or it could be through the day, and you’re making mental lists and organising the next day because you don’t want to forget anything, so you keep mentally going over your to-do list again and again. 

Sound familiar? 

That’s the rehearsal loop.

You can be 200% more productive when you stay focused and centred rather than getting stuck in this loop.

When you’re in this loop, you’re constantly tossing around your thoughts because you’re afraid of forgetting something and want to remember all the moving parts. It’s something that happens in our brains and it’s ruminating to remind us what we need to do. Obviously, this can keep you awake at night if there are too many things on the list or if you’re just in the habit of being a busy thinker.

In this episode, I’ll talk about – 
* Why the rehearsal loop happens
* How to break the rehearsal loop habit
* How to be more clear-headed and productive

Let’s think about why we enter the rehearsal loop? If you haven’t figured it out yet. . . It’s because if you don’t have some kind of external storage system it’s going to stay in your head and take up valuable real estate and that’s going to create the fear that you’ll forget something. So the need for you to constantly rehearse the list or remember the lists becomes so much greater than if you were to physically write a list. Because if you haven’t written your todo lists down you don’t have any visual cues and a sense of security that nothing will be forgotten.

This will force things to keep whizzing around in your brain, hence the rehearsal loop keeps going on and on. This is such an ineffective way to manage tasks (I know because I’ve done it too) and you’re at a higher risk of forgetting a step or entire task, making a mistake and becoming unnecessarily fatigued.

If you don’t like writing things down, there are other ways to do it like an app. But it’s important that you find a way to get all of your lists out of your mind otherwise you’re going to stay in the rehearsal loop.

If you’re in the habit of storing your lists in your brain you’re going to rob your brain’s ability to do any of the critical thinking tasks that you need to do each day, like making decisions.

Ask yourself how you feel when you’re constantly churning over all of the things you need to do all of the time. You’ll probably feel overloaded and overwhelmed and be more likely to procrastinate.

Start listening so you can declutter and clear valuable real estate in your mind. 

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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Episode 114: Client and Work Boundaries

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In this episode, I talk about setting boundaries with clients and at work so that you can feel in control, confident and create cash flow and greater client success

Running your business in a 24/7 world, how do you maintain work life balance? 

In this episode, I talk about setting boundaries with clients and at work so that you can feel in control, confident and create cash flow and greater client success.

Modern World Work

Pre internet, small businesses set up as bricks and mortar businesses that relied on print marketing in the physical world and pounding the pavement to find new clients. 

Businesses were open to the public during standard trading hours and probably worked more than this, but there was a defined window of client time.

Now, the internet has created a virtual world that operates globally, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.

And small businesses seem to be feeling the pressure and buying into it.

Small Business

A lot of my clients are running small businesses but they feel compelled to act like global businesses, answering emails and messages at all hours of the day and night in case they lose a client.

They’re showing up live on social media at all hours, trying to engage people. 

They’re comparing themselves to others who seem to be, in my clients’ words, ‘more organised, all over it, very productive, getting lots of business, showing up consistently all over the place and nailing it, with loads of happy clients.’

That, my friends, is a point of view, not necessarily a fact. 

We all know that things are often different than they seem to be.

But even if it were true, and that person you’re watching is seemingly everywhere and all over it, how do they do it?

Work Boundaries for Small Business

Having been in business for over 25 years, I can say that with a few well-placed boundaries, you can be the owner of an efficient, effective and profitable business.

Here are some important work boundaries that will help small businesses get established, grow and thrive.

Only Work with High Chemistry Clients

Firstly, not everyone is your ideal client. I learned early on that by saying yes to everyone who enquires, I’d have great chemistry with some clients and not so great chemistry with others.

The chemistry you have with a client DIRECTLY impacts their results, so when you work with anyone, then your business may not appear as successful.

With low chemistry clients, they’re less committed, less engaged, less motivated and the rapport is lower, so they are less likely to achieve their goals.

Now picture how that changes if you only work with high-chemistry clients. A higher portion of them will succeed, they will be more connected and engaged, they will rave about their results (and you), and your business reputation and referrals will soar.

It’s a basic formula that works.

So how do you attract and work with high chemistry clients?

Quite simply, you need to be selective by setting some boundaries about who you do and don’t work with.

You can do this by putting some filtering mechanisms in place to screen out anyone who isn’t the right fit for you or your services.

Here are three steps to follow.

Step 1: When it comes to marketing, you can attract high chemistry clients by being specific, and talking about what they are interested in, and using their specific language, pain points and desired outcomes.

Do this, and you’re more likely to build a tribe of high chemistry leads who are engaged and interested.

Step 2: When you make formal offers for a program or other service, you can list criteria – who this is for – to help them qualify themselves as a good fit.

That way, most of the work is done by them, before they even reach for the phone or message you!

Step 3: before working with any client, have a good fit call with them right up front to see if the person who wants to do your program is the right kind of person.

If they’re not, you can refer them to another coach or practitioner, or simply tell them that you don’t think you can give them the right sort of help.

Imagine yourself as the client – would you rather someone be honest up front, or find out half way through a program that this isn’t really your jam? 

In marketing, this process is often referred to as ‘creating touch points’ because the more interactions you have with clients, the more easily they will build trust and potentially buy.

I want to challenge that idea and flip it on it’s head.

I prefer to call this process as Chemistry 101 because the clearer you are about what you do and who you serve, the more enjoyable your business will be, the more enriching your work, and the more satisfied your clients will be and the better results they will get.

It just makes sense.

Establish Working Hours

I often see exhausted coaches who are working scattered hours, nights and weekends, trying to fit clients in at any given time slot. These coaches have no down time and are constantly thinking about work.

Imagine how hard it is to coach when you feel like that!

It’s so important to optimise your energy and set boundaries that allow you to do that.

Here are two things to think about.

1. Working Hours

Think about a big store like Harvey Norman. They advertise specific opening and closing hours. You can’t buy a dining room table at 9pm on a Sunday!

Establishing set working hours is setting a boundary. 

Right now, you’re probably saying to yourself, ‘yeah, but I might lose clients if I am strict with my working hours!’

Here’s the truth.

When you work with low chemistry clients, they tend to be the types of clients who are too busy, cancel repeatedly, aren’t committed, can’t fit you in and turn up late, or want you to work odd hours. 

Here’s the truth.

When you work with low chemistry clients, they tend to be the types of clients who are too busy, cancel repeatedly, aren’t committed, can’t fit you in and turn up late, or want you to work odd hours. 

You end up running yourself ragged trying to keep up with their demands and changing goal posts.

On the other hand, when you work with high chemistry clients, then your availability will probably align with theirs. They will show up on time, every time, and only cancel if something unforeseen and major happens. They are more willing to negotiate the session times and find something to suit.

Why?

BECAUSE of the chemistry – and the value they place on your service, and the respect they have for you.

2. Non Working Hours

Here’s the second part of that. Having dedicated, not-negotiable time off from work is setting a boundary.

Why?

Because if you are constantly working, not sleeping well, giving up fun for the sake of your business and clients, you’ll feel tired and start feeling resentful, disillusioned and you may start questioning your ability.

I’ve seen this way too often.

When you set a boundary around your time off, it shows off your integrity. It positions you as a role model for work life balance. It commands respect.

And more importantly, it gives you the opportunity to rest, relax and replenish your energy so that you can show up and be your best for your high chemistry clients.

Those are the people you value, and want to serve best. You can only do that if you take adequate time off.

By serving yourself in this way, you are serving your clients and offering them premium value – your best self. 

Do What You’re Good At, Let Go of The Rest

Do you know anybody who is good at EVERYTHING?

I don’t.

As a small business owner, one of the boundaries you might need to set for yourself is to focus on doing what you’re good at, and say no to the things you don’t do well. 

You might tell yourself you can’t afford to outsource things, or to buy systems that do it for you, but here’s a different perspective.

How do you feel when you are constantly doing things that you don’t enjoy, aren’t skilled at and don’t do very well?

How does that energy affect the running of your business and servicing customers?

I offer that by investing in the right support, you will more likely do a better job servicing customers and getting referrals as a result.

You will stop wasting hours on Canva, or Facebook, or MailChimp, or any other thing that you wish you could do, but can’t master, and you will have heaps more time to do important business building activities like networking, blogging or interacting in groups.

This was a turning point in my coaching business.

As soon as I outsourced design work, Facebook ads and email campaigns, I stopped spending money on courses I never finished and then felt irritated about spending on.

I stopped stressing about getting things done, or taking hours to do something that takes someone else minutes.

I figured it was way easier to pay someone $70 to do a task in one hour, rather than me spending several hours over several days, procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed that it wasn’t right, didn’t look good or might not work. For ALL of that time, I was useless to everyone and not coaching at capacity.

I can’t express what a relief it was to find someone who was like me (a high chemistry contractor) to turn my ideas in reality before I’d had a chance to even transfer the money.

Setting that boundary with myself was SO worth it.

And even if you can do it all, it doesn’t mean that you should.

Summary

Today we discussed three areas for setting boundaries in business that will make a big difference to your energy, motivation, self-confidence and ability to show up for your client.

Those boundaries are:

  1. Only working with high chemistry clients
  2. Establish working hours, and
  3. Do what you’re good at, let the rest go.

Think about your own business situation and imagine what would happen if you started moving toward these boundaries?

Setting boundaries in business will make a big difference to your energy, motivation, self-confidence and ability to show up for your client.

How would you feel if you could operate like this?

What might open up for you?

What else could change?

I invite you to consider what’s possible, and to map out a couple of first steps you can take to get there over the next 8 weeks, so you can regain control, confidence and create cash flow and better-served clients in your business.

Ready to strike the right balance?

Being clear about your boundaries will give you more time and improve what you are able to offer. If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More