Tag: self discovery

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E#230 Finding Your Mid-Life Purpose

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Finding Your Mid-Life Purpose

If you’re into your mid-30’s to mid-50’s and are feeling a bit restless, let me say this – your life is about to change. It’s a time is a culmination of many things in your life and a curiosity about the future – away from the hustle and grind, what is your true purpose in life? To help you ease into this transition, I will share some of my tips to find your mid-life purpose more easily. And although it might not seem like it, this episode is the second in my season about business and revenue growth, and we’ll talk about that, too.

There comes a point in life where you wonder what the point of it all is. Often, it’s when you reach your late 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. From hormones to work and empty nesting, everything is up for discussion. You’ve had a wealth of experience in a career, and you may be entering menopause or andropause.

In this episode, we’ll cover: 
* Step 1 – Skills, Strengths and Bucket Lists
* Step 2 – Discover your Needs
* Step 3 – How to Live or Work Purposefully

There’s a new chapter of life ahead, and it makes sense that you might question who you are and what you’re meant to be doing – your purpose.

If you’re in this age group, you’re probably thinking about the years ahead – about your personal and financial security, how much money you need to retire, and how to build your assets.

For a lot of people, the shift involves taking your foot off the pedal and enjoying life more. You might be thinking about working smarter, working less or going part-time. And that raises a bunch of questions about how you will fill your days, or how to create a new lifestyle with more balance and financial security.

Aside from the amount of time at work, you might also be looking to switch to a new career where the work is more meaningful. You might be considering starting a lifestyle business or going to a completely different vocation – but giving back is often the key. It could be mentoring others around certain skills that you have or finding a way to help others in a way that uses your skill while giving you leveraged or passive income. Why does purpose matter? A study by the University of Michigan found that people who had higher levels of purpose had better physical agility than their less-purposeful counterparts. Further,

Washington University’s Purpose, Aging, Transitions and Health Lab found that more purposeful adults enjoy better cognitive function and greater longevity, and better self-care.

There are three themes emerging here. Mid-life purpose involves seeking greater freedom of time and money, and more purposeful work. The result is a better quality of life, health and longevity.

I went through this at 35. After 15 years of hard work and burnout, I reinvented myself and stepped away from running a medium-sized business into a small business with no employees, working less and doing more meaningful and impactful work. Now, 16 years later, I am running a lifestyle business that gives back and affords me time off to be in nature and explore other avenues of joy.

The thing is, as you get older, your past behaviours can catch up with you and may result in health issues. I want to take action now and avoid health issues caused by any unhelpful or unhealthy beliefs, thoughts or actions, so I can live an exceptional and joyful life.

If any of this is resonating, then let’s look at a process of exploring your mid-life purpose, so that you can align your abilities and strengths with your aspirations for the future.

I want to share my process with you as an example of how you might explore your own mid-life purpose and figure out what’s next for you.

Step 1 – Skills, Strengths and Bucket Lists

Amidst a busy work and family life, it can be easy to lose your identity. Your work (or role in the family) can end up defining you.

This happened to me. I was a Director and General Manager of a medium sized business and because I became consumed by the role, my self-worth was pinned to it. When I moved to NSW in 2007, I felt like I was a nobody with nothing to offer.

To reinvent myself and craft a new identity, career and lifestyle, I had to explore my purpose – what mattered to me, and how I wanted to contribute.

An easy way to do this is to write down a list of all the things you love to do – or would like to learn how to do – but don’t seem to have enough time for.

Next, think about everything that’s on your bucket list of things to do before you die.

If you feel stuck, look to your past and your leisure time for clues. Consider what you loved doing as a child, what you do to relax, or what you do that comes easily but others find hard.

Think about the role models in your life and what they’ve done, that you would like to do, too.

Please put your fears and obstacles aside when you do this. Let your brain come up with all the crazy ideas unfettered and build a big list.

You might also like to do a strengths test, personality quizzes, or anything that helps you identify and acknowledge your skills and character traits.

It’s just a list! But it’s also a starting point for change.

When I did this exercise, I realised that I was passionate about health and fitness, I loved being near the beach and being in nature. I liked deep conversations with the right kinds of people. I loved personal growth, psychology and leadership and listening to understand others. I enjoyed puzzles, mysteries and solving problems. I also realised I wanted to run a business on my own, not in partnership.

All of this led me to start looking at health-related business options, and then I stumbled across coaching as the methodology that combined many of my desires in one vocation.

Now it’s your turn. Block out some time to create YOUR list!

Step 2 – Discover Your Needs

Tony Robbins’ model of the 6 human needs explores core needs that affect what we do each day, and why we do it. In other words, every thought we have and resultant action we take is driven by one or more of these needs.

Robbins says that dysfunctional behaviours come from our inability to consistently meet these needs – but that they are also behind the good things that we can accomplish.

By understanding your core needs, you might discover a starting point for the next part of your life or identify areas that you’d like to work on to improve the quality of the rest of your life.

When I took this test, Uncertainty was high on my needs list – which means I tend to seek variety and excitement. This is true, but I know that at times, my need for variety and excitement means I get bored easily and delay finishing tasks, or I might take on too much, or be impulsive or rash when making decisions. That explains the burnout I experienced years ago – and thankfully I have developed strategies to reduce or avoid the negative side of Uncertainty.

For me, taking this test is about fine-tuning and going to the next level, as I am pursuing growth.

My recommendations were to focus on Growth and Contribution. These are definitely coming up as needs for my next stage of life.

My goal is to change my business model, so I am creating more impact and giving more, while working less and maintaining income, partly through leverage or passive income sources. With more free time, I can work on personal growth. I can also devote more time to spirituality, physical health, mental health, and socialising, which have been a bit neglected in the past 5 years.

I encourage you to take this test and see what is driving you, and any areas for improvement. It gives you some recommendations of what you can focus on to counteract any negatives that might show up in your behaviour.

And with your list of skills and strengths, and needs, you are in a position to pull it all together and see what shakes out.

You’ll see some common themes in what you want, what matters to you, who you are, and how you work. So then, what do you do with all that?

Well, since we are on the topic of business and revenue growth in this season, I want to finish this episode with a couple of final points in that direction to help you explore options for how you work on purpose.

Step 3 – How to Live or Work Purposefully

How do you feel about working a job for someone else?

Your working hours are defined, and your remuneration is capped. Maybe you’re fine with it and it is a safe, secure and comfortable way for you to live your life. In this case, maybe your purpose is explored and expressed outside of work, via hobbies, charitable work, or simply being more involved in your community or in volunteer organisations. Great! Go explore those things.

For some of us with a more entrepreneurial mindset, we feel that our work is our best opportunity to give back and make an impact. We are the people who want to step away from working for others or in roles that feel constrained, or lacking in purpose.

We are the people seeking time and money freedom, creative expression, and an opportunity to do more purposeful work.

This is me, and I have created this in my business. I work in three key areas – teaching, business strategy and business coaching – and am on the board of our industry association. This gives me the variety and excitement I want. It allows me to work purposefully and provides the income and lifestyle I desire. I am now looking at leverage, so I can help more people and work less, give money to charitable causes and pursue personal health goals to set me up for a strong, healthy future.

Here are some ways that you can transition from where you are now, to start working more purposefully. They are all about you working in a way that you give incredible value to the people you work with.

By focusing on the value of what you do and your passion for it, you can usually ask for higher fees.

And depending on how you set things up, you can earn a regular income or a leveraged or passive income from any of these options.

The regular income version is simply having regular clients.

The leveraged version is working with groups.

The passive version is developing online training courses, new technologies or physical products. If you want, you can offer add-on services to these. I want to share an example of how this can look, via copywriter Jay ‘Crisp’ Crow.

Freelancing or Consulting

Some people move away from their career but then end up consulting back to the organisation they used to work for – or others like them.

This is a great way to stay in touch with your skills but pick the work you love to do best. It also means that you work with a few clients and get paid well to do high-level work that recognises the specific value you offer.

Just ask Jay Crisp Crow. Her first career was working in private school communications. She took a leap of faith into starting a business that was essentially a consulting business.

She wrote copy for small businesses so they could create exceptional landing pages and websites. And she was soooo good, she went viral, and she started upping her prices as the value of her work was realised and shared. At this point in time, she charges $6,000 per single sales page on a website.

Mentoring or Coaching

If your career has led you to be highly skilled in one or more areas, you have a great opportunity to give back to others.

Personal mentoring as an unpaid venture, or professional mentoring as a lifestyle business, are two ways that you can leave the 9 – 5 grind behind and give back to the rising professionals in your industry.

Either way, the joy of teaching others and helping them with their struggles can be super rewarding and fulfilling.

With her services being more expensive, Jay Crisp Crow created a coaching service to help people do it themselves, with her guidance.

At this point in time, a 1:1 session with Jay is $550 per hour. And these days, it’s application only.

Online Courses (or Products)

If you wish to reach more people or build more revenue, then online courses (or products) are a great way to do that.

The OTHER side of online courses is that if your coaching fees are a bit high for some people, then your courses offer a lower cost option to get your support. This is great if you want to scale your business.

Jay Crisp Crow developed a bunch of copywriting resources that are free or low cost, and she also has a DIY program option for $750, full of teaching modules and masterclass recordings.

If you’re a coach and wondering how an online course works – it’s simply you focussing on a topic and asking people a bunch of questions to guide them through self-inquiry.

That’s a topic for another day.

Summary

Wow, what a jam-packed discussion this was today.

We talked about why people in their mid-30’s to mid-50’s get restless and start wondering ‘what’s next?’

It’s a time of reflection and anticipation of your future identity, and real purpose in life.

I shared some tips to get clarity on what’s next:

  • List and review your skills, strengths and bucket lists
  • Discover your needs – what’s driving you
  • Review those things and see what shakes out
  • Decide on whether you will live your purpose either
    • outside of work through hobbies, charity, volunteering or community participation, or
    • through your work, via freelancing or consulting, mentoring or coaching, or online courses.

There are a LOT of options here. I explored them in depth not to blow your mind, but to help you see the options you have and give you a sense of how to navigate them.

Now, over to you. What’s ahead? What will you do next?

I can’t wait to see. Let me know!

Ready to get clarity on your pathway to success?

Understanding who you are and what you need will allow your business to thrive! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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Episode 65: Discover and Communicate Your Value

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This episode is dedicated to the people out there who do amazing work but struggle to sell it because they have trouble describing the value of their work.

It breaks my heart to see skilled, talented and passionate people with so much to give, but finding it hard to get people to engage with them or buy from them.

I want to dig into this and give you some tools to discover and communicate your value.

Why Is Knowing The Value Of Your Work So Important?

FIrst and foremost, I think it’s pretty obvious that if you believe in and truly feel the value of what you do, then you will have the confidence to do it well, promote it and talk to people about it.

Your words will flow with ease. 

You feel sure of yourself and confident to describe your services.

Secondly, understanding and believing in the value of what you do will help you to 100% nail your marketing.

When you understand the value of your work, it will be EASY to develop very, very clear and compelling the words, messages, connection statements, elevator pitches, advertisements.

So, why do we get stuck?

We Are All Professionals

When we become skilled professionals, we all get stuck in this world of our own jargon. 

What I mean is this, when you learn how to do something and the methodology behind it then those are the things that stick in your mind and those of the things that you communicate. 

I remember driving on a holiday with my parents and boyfriend once. I’d just finished a university assignment on banksia woodland.

Your audience isn’t as educated as you are on those subjects and they might be 2, 5 to 10 years behind you and experience. 

And as we drove toward our holiday spot, I looked out the window and said something like, “wow, look at that low, open banksia woodland with a shrub understorey.”

Of course, my parents and boyfriend all laughed out loud. They even cried with laughter. I was SO mortified. But you get the idea. 

I was talking in my language about the bush, and they had no idea what I was going on about.

University Versus Kindergarten Knowledge

So here’s the lesson for you. Your audience isn’t as educated as you are on those subjects and they might be 2, 5 to 10 years behind you and experience. 

They’re not a scientist. They’re not a practitioner. They’re not heavily geeking it up on your area of interest.

It’s like you’re at the University level of knowledge in a particular area and your potential clients are at the kindergarten level in terms of their understanding and knowledge of that subject area. 

That’s a big reason why you’re struggling to communicate your value.

What that means is that you have to take a step back to the old you. 

You have to go right back to where you were five or 10 years ago or at least to the absolute  beginning of your journey and explore what you are feeling and thinking then, to reflect on why you were studying that, and what you needed and wanted. 

This segues into the second reason you’re finding it hard to communicate.

You Need Emotion, Not Logic

When you are in your geeky learning brain, university knowledge mode, you are using logic and jargon to talk about what you do.

But 90% of anybody’s buying decision is based on the emotion they feel when they interact with you.

You need to get out of your logical thinking and onto your passionate, emotionally heightened and ranty soap box to get people interested, engaged and believing that you are the person to help them.

This is known as ‘sharing your why’ and it’s the most powerful driving force in marketing.

That’s because your why contains your values, motivators, beliefs, and possibly life experience – all wrapped up in an emotive story.

That’s what you need to tap into.

If you believe in and truly feel the value of what you do, then you will have the confidence to do it well, promote it and talk to people about it.

Tapping Into Your Why

My friends, the value of what you do is in the result that it gives the person who’s buying it. 

Right now, I invite you to cast your mind back to the person you used to be and what you were desperate for and how much value that brought to your life. 

Think about how you would describe that value, how you would define it. 

Go back to the reason why you studied this in the first place.

That’s where your ideal client is right now, and doing this will give you some clues as to the value THEY are looking for.

Now I want to talk you through a little two-part exercise to help you to get the words right for this. 

A Two-Part Exercise

I want you to imagine that you are your customer. 

I want you to imagine that you are the you of a few years ago. 

Part 1 – Reflections

Now imagine that you are about to buy your service as a customer what is the value that you want to get out of buying your own service. 

  • Why are you buying that service? 
  • What would it mean to you if you could get the result that you wanted? 
  • What is that result? 
  • What will that allow you to do in future? 

That’s the first part of the exercise. Now let’s go to the second part. 

Part 2 – Reflections

Imagine that you have just finished using the service that you’re selling. Pretend that you’re the customer and you’ve completed this program or whatever it is.

  • How are you feeling right now? 

Write that down. 

Imagine you are giving yourself a testimonial.

  • What were you doing before the program? 
  • What did you achieve in the program? 
  • How is your world transformed now, because of that?
  • How do you feel? 
  • What have you gotten rid of? 
  • Describe the sense of accomplishment that you have? 

You noticed that I’m asking a lot about feelings here. And that’s because 90% of any buying decision is based in strong emotions. Logic makes up only 10% of the buying decision.

People buy results that they want and they want to feel a certain way. 

So our goal in marketing is to listen to what our customers are saying and to reflect that back. 

Summary

Hopefully there’s two part exercise has given you some ideas on the value of what you do by putting yourself in the customer’s shoes and by asking yourself how you felt before and after using the service, what you truly wanted and what you got from it. 

I hope this has been useful and if you are a coach who needs some help to dig into this and figure out how to clarify the value of what you do, so you can more effectively package, describe and sell the value of your services, join my new Facebook tribe – CoachingSuccessAccelerator. Doors are open, I’m so excited!

Ready to recognise and communicate your value?

Honouring your own journey is the key to communicating your value. If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More