Tag: empowerment

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Episode 75: Confidence in Your Coaching Business

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Here are two things you must do if you want to succeed in your new coaching business – and measuring your numbers isn’t necessarily one of them.

Today’s episode is the second half of an important topic – confidence in your coaching business.

In episode 74 we talked about confidence in your modality and also in your own skills as an important foundation – so please go back and listen to that one. 

That’s a segue into today’s topic.

It’s one thing to feel confident as a coach, but running a business is a whole different ball game, especially if you have only ever been an employee, and never run a business on your own.

So today I want to talk to you about how to grow confidence in your business skills.

Confidence in Your Business Skills

I want to start by busting a myth.

A lot of business coaches talk about how important it is to know your numbers. 

That means things like how many people are clicking on your email links, how many people are visiting your website, how many people signed up for your webinars, what the conversion rate is, and so on.

Too many coaches and wellness practitioners set goals around a certain number of clients and give up within a month or two if they don’t hit those numbers.

I want to challenge that for brand new business owners and say that getting fixated on the numbers can be a huge confidence killer for a new business owner.

Why?

Because when you start out, you are still figuring out your strengths. You are still figuring out your niche. 

You are trying to work out who your clients are, what they want, and how best to give it to them. 

You are finding your voice in the public arena and working out what you stand for.

You are testing, experimenting, and trying different things to see what suits you and your style. You might not yet be sure about which business model you will use.

When you start out, you are still figuring out your strengths. You are still figuring out your niche. 

And while it’s useful to measure how many people are responding to you – ask yourself – what do those numbers really mean if you are chopping and changing your messages, forums, platforms and topics during this early experimental phase?

The answer is – nothing. 

It’s like comparing apples with oranges.

So if you put too much emphasis on the numbers in your business, you may do more harm than good, and end up eroding your confidence rather than building it.

How do you build confidence in your business skills?

You might remember in the last episode that I mentioned our brains want proof of something before they believe it is true, or possible. 

But it’s hard to get proof in advance when you are totally new to something, like running a business!

Here are two things you can do to give your brain that sense of confidence.

1. Get help to create a solid strategic plan

The simple answer is to get help to create a solid strategic plan in your first year of business.

This is your framework for experimenting to see what works, to work out YOUR best way of doing business, and create a regular, organised and intentional work plan.

If you are new to running a business you will definitely need help to create this plan.

But that is your framework for moving forward and having a plan helps you to build confidence in your business and that you have a pretty good path to follow.

2. Measure your commitment to take consistent action

Measuring things is a great way to see progress.

If you are new in business, the true measure of your business acumen is your ability to consistently take action. 

Your commitment to consistent action, no matter what, is actually what builds confidence in your business. 

That’s because taking action no matter what indicates that you have grit, courage, persistence, strength and determination.

Having those traits feel good, and empowering.

They are all qualities of confident people and confident business owners.

And the stronger those traits, the more resilience you will have to experiment with things and not take any failures personally.

You will be better equipped to manage your emotions and be logical, factual and realistic.

And in a new business there is a LOT to experiment with.

You will be experimenting with business processes and tools, coaching techniques, session plans, number of sessions, trying different sorts of questions, what type of client to look for, where they are, whether you’re going to market online or offline, which social media channel to use, how best to have conversations with people, how to plan effectively, how to create offers that attract clients, how to pull together coaching programs and what clients want in their coaching programs. 

Some things will work and some will fail.

Some things will feel right and others won’t.

Your brain wants proof of success. But you can’t know the exact formula for any of this in advance. 

At least while you are figuring out how to run a business, succeeding and failing along the way, you can create a consistent, stable platform of action-taking so that you can build confidence in your ability to run a business.

Then, when you’ve been in your business for a year and have worked out YOUR way of doing business, you can start looking more at the numbers and results. 

But in the beginning, I encourage you to focus on measuring your ability to follow your plans and process – because when you get that process right, you will succeed. 

Summary

In summary, know that you are experimenting with so many things right now, so the numbers don’t mean that much. 

When you learn to take action no matter what, you are actively cultivating a growth mindset, the behaviours of a self-confident person, resilience, capacity and self-motivation.

What is more confidence-building is 

  1. To get help to create a strategic plan as the roadmap for your business and,
  2. To take consistent action toward your plan, problem solving and tweaking along the way, with the support of someone with the right skills and experience. 

When you learn to take action no matter what, you are actively cultivating a growth mindset, the behaviours of a self-confident person, resilience, capacity and self-motivation.

Those are the secret formula for your business success.

Ready to grow confidence in your business?

A plan and a growth mindset can go a long way! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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Episode 54: Creating Motivation

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This episode of the Habitology podcast is all about creating motivation.

Notice that I said ‘creating’ motivation rather than ‘getting motivated.’ 

That’s because motivation is not something you ‘get’, and it’s not something that anyone else can give you.

It is something you must create within yourself.

And rather than trying to overcome your lack of it, shift your focus to what you can do – which is to create it, and habitualise it.

What is Motivation?

Motivation is your willingness to act. 

And it is created when we realise that the pain of not doing something becomes greater than the pain of doing it.

For example, the pain of not earning money far outweighs the discomfort of finding the courage to do promotional talks in public.

The discomfort of being overweight or having a wardrobe of too-tight clothes becomes greater than the inconvenience of preparing healthy food or going to the gym.

When we weigh up the pros and cons of change – a cost-benefit analysis – we can easily see the risk versus the reward and make some decisions on what we will do.

Then we cross that mental threshold and the motivation appears!

The secret to motivation is this – it usually comes AFTER you take action, not before.

Think of the last time you ate a healthy breakfast. It felt good, right? You felt proud of yourself. So you felt motivated to do it again.

You can also create motivation by talking yourself into things, and thinking positive thoughts.

It’s useful to create your thoughts like this anyway, but know that it’s the doing of the thing that is important. 

You need to train yourself to make motivation a habit.

Types of Motivation

You might have heard of the terms extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation is somewhat coerced. 

It is where your motivation relies on other things, situations or people.

If you are an Obliger tendency, then these external factors are a big part of what creates motivation for you.

On the other hand, intrinsic motivation is more powerful. 

It comes from within, and it only relies on you. It can be freely chosen at any time!

When you can create your own motivation, you are truly in charge of your own life. You are more likely to feel self-actualised.

If you are a Questioner or Rebel tendency, then intrinsic motivation is a strong part of who you are and how you operate.

Sources of Motivation

Now that we’ve discussed the two main types of motivators, it’s also worth knowing the two main sources of motivation.

To keep it simple, one is negative, and one is positive.

Think of it this way.

Some people strive to avoid things because they’ve been conditioned to look for those negative incentives.

So you could say we are talking about ‘away from’ motivators.

This is you if your reasons for doing things tend to be based around cutting back, restricting, limiting or avoiding something, especially a consequence.

This is a ‘conserve and protect what you have’ mentality. 

And the main problem with it is that if you focus on what you don’t want, you have no exciting incentive to act, and no instruction on the action steps you need to take to move forward.

When you can create your own motivation, you are truly in charge of your own life. You are more likely to feel self-actualised.

On the other hand we have what’s known as ‘toward’ motivators.

These are the things we define as desirable, the things we want and would be excited to achieve.

Positive or toward motivators are fueled by desire, inspiration, and the promise of a specific, pleasurable achievement or result.

So as you can imagine, thinking of what you want is way more compelling and motivating. It feels good.

And additionally, when you define what you want rather than what you don’t, you have more clues and instructions on the affirmative steps you need to take to get there.

5 Steps to Create Motivation

With this background understanding, you are ready to take the five steps to creating motivation. If you do these things and practice them, you will be able to create motivation and also, turn being motivated into a habit. Sound good?

Let’s get started.

Step 1

Think of the thing that you are not doing right now, but want to do.

Step 2

Reframe this as a positive thing you want to do or achieve. Talk about what you DO want, not what you don’t. Use positive words, or at least, plain and factual (that is, non emotive) words.

Step 3

Make sure you have been very specific about what it is that you want to do and when, and how often.

Step 4

Schedule it into your diary in a time-slot that is 100% not negotiable. This is important!

Step 5

Surround it with positives. Create a warm-up routine that is easy and enjoyable. Visualise yourself doing this thing and feeling good about it. Celebrate the feelings of achievement and success, and the results, afterwards.

In other words, step 5 is about thinking positive emotions and feeling positive feelings as you prepare, act and reflect on the thing you have scheduled in.

An example

Step 1 – Let’s say you want to find the motivation to go to the gym.

Step 2 – More positive wording could be that you want to feel that sense of satisfaction and post-exercise pump three days per week.

Step 3 – Allocate three timeslots very specifically and check you can commit to them 100%. For example, Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5pm for one hour including travel time.

Step 4 – Put them in your diary.

Step 5 – Get your clothes prepared for the week ahead. Set your alarm. Reschedule meetings. Mentally rehearse how good you will feel as you do the exercise. Celebrate finishing your session and feeling that pump.

In summary

As you can hear, motivation requires you to JUST DO IT.

Ready to create motivation?

Create habits that put you in charge of your own life! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

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Episode 53: Empowerment

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As a coach, I hear so many people talking about empowerment and empowering people. 

I tend to get on a bit of a rant about this topic so I wanted to do a podcast on it so we are all really clear on what empowerment is, exactly, and how to get it.

 

So what is empowerment?

Wikipedia says that empowerment refers to the actions you take to increase the degree of autonomy and self-determination in people, so they can act on their own authority.

It’s a process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially when it comes to taking control of your life and claiming your rights.

Being disempowered is obviously the opposite and it means that you feel less powerful or confident.

Why would we want empowerment? 

Simply because empowerment allows us to be who we are – our authentic selves – and feeling confident and competent about who we are and what we can do. 

Empowerment allows us to get what we want in life.

It allows us to speak up for ourselves and others, and to take charge.

When you feel empowered, you feel it in your body and mind.

In your body, feeling empowered gives you physical energy, enthusiasm and motion.

In your mind, feeling empowered gives you motivation, inspiration, positivity and a can-do attitude.

For me, feeling empowered makes me feel invincible and unstoppable, and this is how I personally love to feel.

It helps me to take action, to get things done, to achieve my goals, to make the most out of life, and to feel happy and fulfilled.

One of the reasons that so many people struggle to feel empowered these days is that they’re not really sure who they are, what they want or why they want it.

Why would we want empowerment? 

Simply because empowerment allows us to be who we are – our authentic selves – and feeling confident and competent about who we are and what we can do. 

Empowerment allows us to get what we want in life. It allows us to speak up for ourselves and others, and to take charge.

For me, feeling empowered makes me feel invincible and unstoppable, and this is how I personally love to feel. It helps me to take action, to get things done, to achieve my goals, to make the most out of life, and to feel happy and fulfilled.

When you feel empowered, you feel it in your body and mind. In your body, feeling empowered gives you physical energy, enthusiasm and motion. In your mind, feeling empowered gives you motivation, inspiration, positivity and a can-do attitude.

How do we get empowered?

Step 1 – Clarity

The first step to empowerment is getting clear on what you want. 

You need to know what you want in order to know what the steps are to getting there.

When you are clear on what you want, you know what you are are speaking up about. 

You know what you are striving to achieve. 

You know who you are and what something means to you. 

And importantly, when you know the destination, plan to get there unfolds more easily.

I think one of the reasons that so many people struggle to feel empowered these days is that they’re not really sure who they are, what they want or why they want it. 

And while these questions remain unanswered, you have an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and lack of confidence about your life. 

That is the opposite of empowerment.

Getting that clarity on your desires is that important first step. It creates excitement, a sense of conviction and a commitment to taking action.

In my Habitology membership, I find that most people need help constantly to get clarity on what they want. You can visit www.melaniejwhite.com/habitology if you want more info on that.

Step 2 – Winnable Goals that Build Confidence

The second step to empowerment is just start stretching yourself and getting uncomfortable so that you can start reaching small goals. 

The ability to set and achieve small goals builds confidence. 

And the more small goals you intentionally set and achieve, the more confident you will feel the greater sense of self you will have, and the more empowered you become.

It’s important to take small steps that are 100% winnable, so you win continuously. 

This is the fastest way to build confidence and self-efficacy – two important steps in feeling empowered.

Step 3 – Practice Believing in Yourself

The third step to empowerment is to start believing in yourself. 

It sounds crazy to say that. It seems like a huge task to suddenly start believing in yourself right? 

You’re right, it’s definitely not an overnight thing. 

To believe in yourself, you need to simply start practicing new thought patterns so they become a habit.

You need to start collecting your own evidence that you are capable of doing things.

That you are actively contributing to things and that you are creating results in your life and in other people‘s lives. 

Believing in yourself is tied up in the way you speak to yourself – that is, your opinion of yourself – and you need to proactively manage that.

Step 4 – Use Positive Language

The fourth step pulls it all together and creates a consistency and an upward spiral. 

It’s creating a positive dialogue with yourself. It’s about tuning up yourself talk.

Believing in yourself is tied up in the way you speak to yourself – that is, your opinion of yourself – and you need to proactively manage that. 

Positive thinking doesn’t just happen. In fact, around 70% of our automatic thoughts are negative. So you need to watch your thoughts and keep reframing them, switching them up, swapping your words.

After all, what would be the point in getting clear on your goals stretching yourself achieving small things and starting to believe in yourself, if your mind is still telling you how hopeless you are how useless you are or how you’re not worth it? 

It would be like doing all of this work and then shutting it down with negative self talk. It doesn’t make sense to do that, so the only answer is to work on your opinion of yourself so that you can change your beliefs about yourself really and truly.

Now let’s recap the process of empowerment.

Summary

Empowerment is all about increasing your autonomy and self-determination.

It’s a process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially when it comes to taking control of your life and claiming your rights.

I have outlined four steps for becoming empowered on your own terms.

Firstly, get clarity on a very specific outcome that you want, whether that’s who you want to be or something you want to achieve.

Secondly, work out the first simple, 100% winnable steps and start taking them.

Thirdly, practice believing in yourself by collecting evidence of all your wins, skills and strengths, including how you help others and yourself. 

Finally, watch your language and change it up so it’s focussing on what you can get and do have, rather than what you don’t have or can’t do. 

On that last point, to be more specific, if you talk to yourself about a more positive opinion of yourself, you’ll feel and become empowered much more quickly.

Ready to feel empowered?

Maybe it’s time for you to work out who you are, what you want and why you want it. If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.

Learn more here:

Learn More