Have you ever wondered what’s behind your time and money beliefs?
When you become aware of a limiting belief, have you rushed right into positive affirmations, or have you been curious about the origin of that belief?
I love affirmations, but I think a brief exploration of the things going on behind the belief can give you a lot of clarity as to how to resolve the belief.
I’m not talking about going back into your deep dark past and excavating all the terrible things that happened to you.
I’m talking about getting some clarity so you can figure out the actions you need to take to move forward.
This is how I problem solve everything.
When something is wrong, I go upstream to the source of the problem as this helps me to truly and effectively solve it.
This episode has come about after a recent conversation with a fellow coach about time and money. After we chatted at length, I thought more deeply about what sits behind time and money beliefs, specifically.
And it was such a rich and eye opening conversation for me that I want to explore the topic with you today and ask some questions to get you thinking about where your beliefs come from, to help you direct your own reflections and create self-talk that will generate healthier beliefs.
After all, if you have blocks around time, or blocks around money or both, it’s going to impact your success in business.
Thinking about your beliefs about money or time.
Write down three things main ones that come to your mind right now – don’t think deeply, just trust that the right answers will come out.
Now let’s look at where these beliefs might come from.
I am going to share the three common categories of beliefs that coaches tell me they struggle with and see if you can hear yourself in these.
Then we’ll talk about some really simple ways you can overcome them.
A simple way to start changing any time or money beliefs that are based in self-worth is to get really clear on your values and to find the reason behind them.
Figure out what you stand for and what is important to you and why.
The first category I’ve created is money beliefs don’t directly discuss money, per se. But they go something like this.
On the surface, these sorts of thoughts seem to be about a lack of belief in the value of what you do.
But look deeper and you’ll notice that the feeling associated with them is usually a sense that you lack skills and experience more than anything else.
In either case, I notice that people who feel too inexperienced find it’s hard to ask for money.
They feel like you can’t charge anything, or very much, because they’re not a very good coach (yet).
Ok, so let’s look at the second category.
The next category of beliefs are more directly about money, and they are beliefs based in self-worth. They include things like:
Are these the kinds of things you say to yourself?
To me, these beliefs seem to be more about whether people like you or not.
They could include some of the self-esteem or self-efficacy type beliefs mentioned earlier, but notice the language here.
It’s more about you and how you might be perceived or judged.
That’s why I think these sorts of beliefs seem to be based more in your sense of self-worth – what you as a person have to offer – more so than your skills or experience as a coach.
The fear of being disliked is a real challenge for a lot of people. I struggled with this for many years so I know it well.
And I think what accompanies these types of beliefs are a lack of boundaries.
You find it hard to speak up for yourself, you might want to please clients no matter what, schedule sessions on any day at any time, and give sessions for free or heavily discounted so that you can say you have clients and feel like you’re helping people.
You give yourself away.
Now let’s look at my third category of beliefs and these are more about time.
If we look at beliefs around time, we may see other types of patterns emerging.
There are some beliefs that are more about effort, like:
To me, these beliefs are also about boundaries and ultimately self-worth as discussed previously.
Think about it, if you valued your time you would find a way to manage it. You’d be committed to learning how to do that.
And if you felt that you could charge enough, had confidence in your ability to organise your time, and trusted yourself to stay focused and on track, the time, energy and stress wouldn’t be part of the equation.
At the core, these sorts of beliefs seem to be about backing yourself and believing in yourself – your ability to pull it off.
Knowing that these sorts of beliefs exist, let’s consider how to resolve them for good.
Think about the negative money or time beliefs that revolve around your ability to do something – your skill – also known as self-efficacy.
A good analogy for these sorts of beliefs could be thinking about what it takes to become good at playing the piano.
You could study piles and piles of books, learn the theory, watch YouTube videos and the like. But understanding that theory will never make you a good piano player.
You actually have to play.
And in the beginning, unless you are a natural at it, you are going to be shit.
Or you are at least going to make mistakes.
But you need to persist and keep going and practicing if you want to become good.
And the second part to that is to write a reflection on how you went after each coaching session. This is how you learn to see the good as well as the areas that need work. This is where you see tangible shifts in your own professional development.
So to build self-efficacy and self-esteem, you need to practice, but you also need to reflect on each session and watch yourself grow.
These two critical pieces will help you move forward and recognise your ability – it will double the rate at which you become accomplished because you will learn so much from doing this.
Find practice clients who are ready, willing and able to be coached, and start there.
Then practice and reflect, practice and reflect, practice and reflect.
From there will come your sense of accomplishment.
A simple way to start changing any time or money beliefs that are based in self-worth is to get really clear on your values and to find the why behind them.
Figure out what you stand for and what is important to you and why.
This includes some of the reflection work mentioned earlier; reflecting on your practice and recognising the value that you offer through coaching; reading your testimonials, noticing the shifts, seeing the aha moments.
Then, start a practice of upholding your personal values and standing by the value of your coaching skills in your everyday life and in your business.
To uphold your values, you will need to need to set and maintain some boundaries.
That is to say, you can only maintain boundaries when you know what is important to you.
It will feel a little uncomfortable at first if you have to say no, I’m not available on weekends.
You might feel squeamish if you say, that is the price for the program, I can do a payment option or an up front payment, those are my options.
It might feel like you are rejecting the other person, or being unfair or letting them down.
But you are actually sending a message that says ‘For the right person, I am worth it, and I can truly help them.’
If you can shift this around you’ll start attracting clients who are prepared to pay because they will be drawn to your confidence, energy and sense of worth.
It’s time to find value your self worth! If you’re truly ready to break old habits and get out of the rut I encourage you to check out the Habitology membership.
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